It's not funny anymore..

When I first found out that I was going to have 7/8 hours of class per day in Uni next year, the first thought that entered my head was, "Lodge all over again". Not to mention, I have 10 subjects for sem 1, 8 for sem 3, and another 8 for final sem. The semesters are such that sems 1, 3, and 5 are studying semesters, while sems 2 and 4 are for industrial training. But, I'm still trying to console myself on that point, telling myself "it will be fun, it will be fun" over and over again. I hear so many stories about how much fun people have in Uni. I seriously wonder how true that will be on my part. *sighs* I'm starting to wonder whether I'll have any time for leisurely activities outside of Uni. I sure hope so. Right now, I'm expecting the worse... and hoping that I'll be pleasantly surprised.

As if that wasn't enough, I just found out from their international marketing officer that I only have 3 weeks of holidays PER YEAR! Only 3 freaking weeks out of 52 weeks a year! This is freaking torture. I'm very miserable right now. How can they do this to me?! It's enough that I'm so reluctant to leave my home, my family, and my friends behind. My only consolation was knowing (or so I thought) that I would be able to come back for 2 months at least every end of year. But now, they're taking even that away from me. First, they take away all the leisure time that I'm supposed to be getting. Now, they're taking away my summer holidays too. =(

People keep telling me "If you really like the course, you'll have fun". That's not the point, you know... not the point at all. Sure, I'll have fun if I like the course. But, I'ld like a little time for my sports, reading, music, yada yada all other hobby-ish activities (yeah obviously I can't really think straight right now) too. And, most importantly, the point is that I was looking forward to coming back here for a longer period than 2-3 weeks! *sighs* The point is, I want to come back here... back to all this familiarity, back to all the people here, back to knowing all the little bits and pieces of news of home... I want to come back and just shut off my mind to everything over there, before I have to go back again. 2-3 weeks is hardly sufficient time for me to catch up with home.

Someone told me, "It's the course you chose, the uni you chose, and so it's the sacrifice you have to make". But does she actually have any idea how unprepared I am to leave all this behind? I'm sure I'll cope alright there, but home is still home. Nothing makes me feel more loved.. warm-and-fuzzy loved.. than home.

And now these people are freaking telling me that the minimum contract for industrial training is 6 freaking months, and that my hols are probably gonna be the first 2-3 weeks of january... only. I'm devastated, miserable, broken. It really isn't funny anymore.

I was a praying mantis

Because I haven't updated for more than a week, I feel obligated to do so. So, here's a little something to entertain myself. (Really now, whoever said this blog was to entertain you.) What better way to prove that this "quiz" is totally random than to press 'back' and 'submit' repeatedly.

You Were a Praying Mantis

You have the still power of a legendary warrior.You are able to manipulate time - or at least, the perception of it.

You Were a Fox

A good observer, you often watch others while remaining unseen.Cunning and courageous, you also have a gentle side.

You Were a Dog

You are an excellent companion and a loyal friend.A good protector, you smell trouble before it arrives.

You Were a Crow

Eternally wise, you have a deep understand of ethics.You guide people from the darkness to the light.

You Were a Spider

You tend to be the master weaver of fate - both for yourself and those you know.A creative force, you tend to work from divine inspiration.

You Were a Wolf

You have an instinctual intelligence that guides your life.Your family and "pack" is of primary importance, and you protect them.

You Were a Mouse

You quietly examine life's lessons and see multiple meanings in things.You are also good at discovering details and remaining in the background.

You Were an Eagle

You are able to rise above the details of life and see the big picture.A spiritual being, you tend to go beyond material concerns.

You Were a Cougar

You are a great leader who has dominance without ego.You are wickedly cunning and off the scale confident.

You Were a Deer

Graceful and gentle, you appreciate beauty and balance.A giving soul, you are able to sacrifice for the greater good.

You Were an Otter

You are a faithful friend who guides others toward success.You are also light hearted, and love to play around.

You Were An Owl

You are stealthy and secretive - no one knows the true you.You are a seeker of freedom, and you are comfortable with your dark side.

You Were a Peacock

You carry yourself with beauty, dignity, and confidence.You are able to see the past, present, and future with clarity.

You Were a Raccoon

You are a master of disguise and multiple personas.You are infinitely curious and question others without fear.

You Were a Horse

You can't be fenced in - you long to run free.You are good at overcoming obstacles and realizing your potential.

You Were a Cheetah

You are quick and elusive, with keen senses.You are able to have intense concentration for short periods of time.

You Were A Lion

You have a lethal combination of strength and energy.You have strong family ties, and close friends are like family to you.

You Were a Lizard

You are able to bounce back from adversity and regenerate what was lost.Facing your fears and controlling your dreams comes easily for you.

You Were a Rabbit

You are fast thinking and tend to live by your wits.Getting over fears is important to you, as is strengthening intuition.

You Were a Lynx

You are a great knower and keeper of secrets.A bit psychic, you can bring out hidden truths.

Wow, I seem to be some kinda shape-shifting animal with multiple personalities in the past huh. I think the programmers of that "quiz" were very free to put in a million different results. And I think someone else is very free to try and succeed in finding out what 20 out of a million of those results are.

Cheated

I was tricked into watching yet another horror movie! First "Mortuary", now "The Covenant". Will people please give my heart a rest? =( Although it wasn't as scary as most other horror flicks, and the ghost only appeared twice, of which I only glanced it the second time because I was very prepared, heehee. But, that's beside the point. The point is, I was tricked yet again! gah! Horror flicks like this isn't so bad. It's mostly shock and anticipation. Anticipation is almost as bad as actually seeing the things happen, because anticipation means you don't know what to expect. But the shock is only during the film thankfully. Horror flicks that have anything supernatural in a ghostly way, dead things, and disgustingly ugly deformed creatures are a big NO! Because you dwell on it and become very disturbed for days!

One good thing came out of watching The Covenant though: Cute guys and cool superpowers! (or better yet, cute guys with cool superpowers! =D)

Overall, the movie isn't that bad. It also isn't that good. I'ld probably give it a rating of 3/5. And that's being pretty generous 'cause they have cool to-die-for superpowers. *grin* The plot is so-so, the effects so-so, the ghost is horrible and ugly! I think the only attraction of this movie are the actors and actresses.. and not forgetting their ultra cool superpowers. heehee.

Steven Strait, the actor who acted as Caleb in Covenant. His oh-so-cute smile! (bimboness =D)

Caleb Danvers (Steven Strait)

Pogue Perry (Taylor Kitsch)

Reid Garwin (Toby Hemingway)

Tyler Sims (Chace Crawford)

Pogue, Reid, Tyler

Caleb and Sarah Wenham (Laura Ramsey)

And some eye-candy for the guys.. presenting Laura Ramsey:

So keleber..

I'm so smart sometimes I really amaze myself. I have been craving games for a very very long time now. My PS died many many years ago, and my BROTHER has an XBOX in AUSTRALIA, which is VERY FAR out of my reach, and I haven't seen it (and him) for 2 years! =( Don't even start talking about my useless pc that lags trying to run games like NFS:Underground, and has a freaking integrated sound and video card which takes up my pc space. I've been playing whatever old games thats run-able on my pc for the past 3(?) years now, and I've exhausted most of them.

SO, two nights ago, when I was suddenly craving Chrono Cross, FF tactics, and all the other PS games I used to play, I very very excitedly downloaded a PS emulator. You have no idea how excited I was. I was even already thinking of all the Chrono Cross scenes and songs I still remember while waiting for the emulator to install. After it was downloaded, installed, and all the tedious configuration over with, I very enthusiastically went in search of my old PS games......... only to find at the end of my rummage that my dad had GIVEN THEM AWAY (!!!!!!!!!) when the PS died those many years ago!!!! !@(#*&!@!*(@#&(*@! argh!!!

Bye bye chrono cross, hello heroes 3. The desperation to play something led me back to the old pc games stash, where I dug out Heroes 4 which doesn't work, the empty Diablo 2 cd pocket (because the cd's are with smelly monkey hery who is too busy studying now to remember to return me my cd's), GTA which doesn't work, and a whole lot of other games I'm too lazy to try..... guess what does work? Heroes 3. Guess what doesn't work? Heroes 3: Armageddon's Blade.. the expansion pack. Yes, I've been playing Heroes 3 for the past 2 days... it's sad and sleepifying, and sad. Someone up there is playing a funny game with me.

3 very random (absolutely random) facts about me: My birthday is in February. I want a PS2/PS3. I don't mind early presents. *big sepet-eyed grin* ><

Life is a Gift

Today before you think of saying an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.

Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.

Today before you think of pointing a finger or condemning another - Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one maker. We all have our faults. No one is perfect.. some just more imprefect than others.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face. Think of all the little things in your life that you can be thankful for.

Life is a gift.

Disappointment

Seems like quite a few of my past friendships are fake and imaginary on my part. I can't deny that I'm disappointed in you guys... but if you're not gonna be true friends... I couldn't care less. People always say it's better to have one true friend than to have a lot of acquaintances. And I should probably thank you guys, because in knowing how disappointing you guys can be, makes me appreciate my true friends a lot more. So, thank u. *big smile at you guys* =) I believe that we should treat others like how we wish to be treated. So, be nice. =)

I've known all along what you guys were really like.. but I was trying to disillusion myself.. that you weren't as bad as people made you out to be. Guess I was wrong for cheating myself like that. But, enough is enough.. you've hurt my friend.. very badly. THAT's crossing the line. Enough spite enough cattiness.. hope the few of you had fun hurting people the way you did. Feel really good about yourselves now do you?

Ask yourselves this: If you were somebody else, would you be your own friend?

Lack of..

..human interaction is not a good thing. I'm sorry to anyone I've spoken to or chatted with for the past few days. I'm sorry for my very abrupt short weird replies when people message me in msn. I'm sorry for the "brb"'s and never actually coming back's. And I have this weird syndrome, whereby I cannot NOT reply people if they message me, even if I'm pretending to be "away".

My parents are having this week off, so considering this is a rare opportunity that everyone is home at the same time during the day, I decided to put off all plans this week and just stay home. And believe me, having nobody else but my parents to talk to is not a very good thing. It made me go into this little bubble. It made me sometimes a little under-patient with my mum, because having her yammering in my ears 24 hours a day compared to the 8 hours when shes working can make me like that. To avoid having to be rude to her, I put on my earphones and crank up the music and most of the time just pretend that I can hear her, which isn't exactly a lie... I CAN hear her, I just can't hear what she's saying. That way, I won't have to answer back if she says anything ridiculous, which she does very often. It kind of defeats the purpose of me staying home to be around my parents because most of the time, we're NOT around each other. I watch movies, read books, and sew (don't laugh.. yes i DO like needlework) most of the time inside the house, while they're out there gardening.

Back to the little bubble. I was so lacking of human interaction (my parents don't count because sometimes I feel like they're out-of-this-world... aliens) that I just built this little bubble and crawled inside, and didn't feel like talking to anyone or meeting anyone. Which explains the week-long "away" and "brb" status on msn. Soooooo I'm very sorry to anyone I've offended in any way for the past few days because I know I was giving some really short, cold replies to some of you. This may also be due to the every-month sickness of girls, so steer clear of me for the next few days. If you see me crying for no reason, don't ask... it's a monthly thing. =)

I finally had some form of human interaction today. Thank you cha-cha-cha class and all the lovely people in it! =D

McFly - You've Got A Friend

In conjunction with the previous post =)

When you're down and troubled

And you need a helping hand

And nothing, nothing is going right

Close your eyes and think of me

And soon I will be there

To brighten up even your darkest night

*CHORUS You just call out my name

And you know wherever I am

I'll come running to see you again

Winter, spring, summer, or fall

All you have to do is call

And I'll be there

You've got a friend

If the sky above you

Should turn dark and full of clouds

And that old north wind should begin to blow

Keep your head together

And call my name out loud

Soon I'll be knocking upon your door

CHORUS

Ain't it good to know that you've got a friend

When people can be so cold

They'll hurt you and desert you

And take your soul if you let them

Oh yeah, but don't you let them

CHORUS x 3

Of friends and memories..

"Friends forever" we said, on the last day of kindergarten. Excitement to enter a new school no doubt, 'cause at that age, I still knew not of any fear of being in a new environment, but even back then, I already knew the sadness of leaving friends. And so, "friends forever" we said. Now, I don't even remember a single name from my kindergarten class.

"Friends forever" we said, each and every one of us, on my last day at Chinese primary school. Plenty of hugs filled my day, and there were some teary goodbyes. I was to start a new life in Lodge the next day, while my classmates remained where they were for at least another year or so. Friendships that were bonded since primary one were about to be severed and separated. I was afraid; afraid of going to what people usually termed the snob school; afraid of the kind of people I might meet there. And so, "friends forever" we said. Because of the kind of family background we came from (not-rich, average or below family backgrounds), having a handphone at the age of 10 was preposterous and unheard of, and we've never even heard of online chatting. No contact at all passed between me and my ex-classmates in chinese school for several years. A couple of times I met some of them on the streets, in town and so on, and it's come to a point where we are only "hi-smile-bye" acquaintances. Whatever happened to "friends forever"? Maybe it's because I didn't stay all the way till primary 6 in chinese school. My leaving was sort of abrupt.

Then came secondary school, and the last day of it.. more accurately, the last day of SPM came. Emotions running wild, teary last looks at the school we've spent so many years at (some others much more years there than me), promises to keep in touch and hang out for as long as we can before all of us go separate ways to all different colleges everywhere in the world. The days after SPM were very memorable indeed, just hanging out and having a long holiday from studies. Then came time for us to all split and go to college.. different colleges. Teary goodbyes, tight hugs, and multiple visits to the airport filled my Jan/Feb days. Some more promises that we will always keep in touch, and things will still be the same when they returned for holidays. How wrong was I. Things change... people change... situations change... friends change. I can safely say that I'm in constant touch with not more than half my ex-classmates. Whatever happened to the intimacy, carefree-ness, closeness we used to share? I guess it's true. People change. I still get nolstalgic sometimes, about high school and how much fun we used to have together.

Then came college, the one place I hated so much for the first week or two. I was so intimidated about the whole idea of going to class and seeing faces so unfamiliar to me... faces that I cannot put a personality to, words that come out of mouths of faces that I didn't know were sincere or not. My parents can tell you that my first week of college was hell for them. Because every day I would come home crying that I didn't want to attend classes the next day. It didn't help that I was the only girl in class on the first week because some others started late. I was surrounded by all these intimidating guys, who tried to be friendly but I was so scared I didn't let them get close. After the first week, things got better, but I still missed high school a lot. And then, I started seeing familiar faces around college, people I knew from other high schools, but familiar nonetheless. And after one semester, Intima happened. It was the best thing that happened to me during my college life. The friendships, the activities, the lessons it taught me. I owe a lot of my college life to Intima.

A year and 10 months from that first day of college, here I am, waiting for my Uni offer letter. After so many goodbyes in my life, THIS is going to be the hardest goodbye. This is going to be a goodbye, not only to my friends here, but a goodbye to my home... the only place I've known for the past 19 years. The friendships I've found in college are a few of the truest friendships I've ever had. The kind of friendship that you know will not falter despite the miles. I cannot handle saying goodbye to all my friends here. And I cannot handle going to a new place and environment without my familiar cream walls and well-worn bedsheets to come home to every day. The only things that will remind me of home when I'm overseas are pictures, memories, and my soft toys (I am NOT leaving wuffles and pink huggles mashmallow behind!). It's ironic how a couple of months ago, I couldn't wait to go somewhere else to explore, but now that it's pretty much settled that I'm leaving in January, I don't wanna leave, at all! And any thought of it makes me upset and teary.

To all of you who don't know it yet, I love you all very much! Each and every one of you! I'm in one of those emotional moods. And this time when I say friends forever (no matter how cliche this phrase actually is) I really want to keep it like that. I don't want to be the kind of friend who says bye and moves on. I don't want to be the kind of friend who promises to send emails and doesn't. I want to be the kind of friend who can still be the same when we meet again months or years from now. I want to be the kind of friend who you can still trust with all your secrets even though we're a million miles apart. I wanna be that friend.

Obsession

So, I typed in www.yahoo.com and pressed 'enter'. I was met with the yahoo homepage, same old same old. I clicked on "Mail", and just as I was about to be diverted from the page, a flash of long blonde hair at the bottom right near-corner of the page caught my eye. My first thought, "Elves!". I managed to sneak a glance before the page diverted only to find that it was a picture of Britney Spears. Disappointment indeed.

I'm officially obsessed with arrow-shooting pretty guys with long blonde hair. Would you believe that I watched The Two Towers again today? Because of the whole legion of elves that came to fight at the battle of Helms Deep. Why am I so obsessed with the elves? Because they shoot arrows with style =D. And also 'cause they look so clean-cut and decent and cool and mystical and good (as in the opposite-of-evil kind of good, and not that they look good) and good (as in they look good *grin*) and erm... clean. I love!

Did I not mention that I also have a LOTR screensaver now? And that there are elves such as Legolas, Arwen, and Haldir in the screensaver too? *big huge wide happy grin*