My career guidance counselling report arrived last week. I just opened it. ho ho ho. Wanna know what it says? =P
'Cause I also wanna know what it says. Opening it doesn't mean I've read it already. heehee. I should though.. soon.I was surfing around on youtube looking for anime when suddenly this caught my eye
Soft Toys
cute cuddly soft toys.. I so wanna hug!
plushies
cute cuddly soft plushy pillows.. I so wanna hug!
cups
cool cups cool cups
see the black and yellow cup in the middle? one of them's supposed to be a duck and the other's an eagle.. they look the same to me.
pencil cases
i like the white fluffy thing =P
hp pouches
memo holders
slippers
mittens
I promise this will be a short post.=D So people have been asking what pfulzzz is. And this... this is the explanation right here.
PFUL^zzz, the abbreviation for [Pure Freaking Unbelievable/Ultimate Laziness] to the power of zzz ('cause even the name of the syndrome got so lazy, it went to sleep). The Origins: The name started with PFL, a name that my friend came up with to explain my unbelievable laziness, or so he says (Me? Lazy? nawwww. Heehee). He couldn't believe he actually knew someone THIS lazy, hence the name was born. I continued proving that I could be even lazier than he thought.. and so evolution occurred, and the name became PFUL. And just when he thought that a person can only be THAT lazy, I proved him wrong... again. Up to a point where the name evolved into PFUL^zzz. PFUL^zzz is cool. 'Cause it was made for me. Much cooler than sloth, don'tcha think?This morning was the first time it rained so heavily in Kuching in such a long time! Be gone, haze! (if it thunderstorm-ed the past two or three days, it's not counted 'cause I was in Sibu so I wouldn't know=P) I love rainy mornings like that, when I can just sit on the veranda admiring nature.. I have a big garden, and an even more giganticous forest next to my house. I think rainy days are so romantic. Depending, of course, on situations and location. But, generally, I think rain is so romantic.. erm, rephrase.. I think rain without lightning and ear-splitting thunder is so romantic.
This morning, while my parents were sitting on the veranda talking, my dad suddenly shouted for me. Rushing there, thinking something must have happened to him, they both hushed me and told me to look at the plant beside my dad. It was one of the only plants in my garden which was just barely out of the rain 'cause it was slightly under the roof. And I saw this.
What is it you ask? I personally thought it was a bee at first. I was about to scold my parents for making me run all the way out there to see a bee, an insect that I usually run away from. Then, upon closer inspection, I realised it had this long-ass mouth thing! It was flitting from flower to flower on that plant and sticking its "mouth" into the pollen sacs, extracting sweet nectar.. or so I imagined anyway. My mum claims that it's a hummingbird. But, I think it's a hummingbird moth (got this from the Net). A hummingbird looks like this:
See, no freaking long beak/mouth thing, and a heck lot cuter! My mum is still convinced its a hummingbird though. I'm waking up early tomorrow, and waiting for the lil rascal to come steal nectar again.. then I'm gonna konk it on the head, and examine it, and prove that I know the difference between a hummingbird and a hummingbird moth! =DI also came across something else in my backyard, shortly after the discovery of the little humming thing.
Because I'm so out of inspiration when I'm fevering n coughing n leaky-nose-ing.. this will be a photo post.
Madam Rachel, small Jayden and big Jayden(Mr. Jacob).. during their daytrip there to visit us for a while.
their family photo.. taken without me, hery n yew inn! 'cause we went down later.. *sobz*
the early risers on the first morning..me, Sim, CY..look at our "just-wake-up" eyes
more early-risers..minus me, plus Show Ping and Hery.
make-up artists and our experiments. (ps: that is what my hair looks like after wash, before dried.. hehe)
our experiments complete...tribal voodoo-master(hery), tiger-wannabe ready to pounce(cy), and not-cute cat trying to be cute(sim)
makeup artists tired.
experiment tired.
me n psp playing ps2...
...and all the rest playing cards (in mid-afternoon!)...Yew Inn camera-man missing from the pics.. the 3 girls u see in the "family photo" are also missing 'cause they went back pretty early
OH OH OH.. I MUST say this! For those of u who call me pig.. I woke up at 7 the second morning, and NONE of the rest (99% of whom slept much earlier than me! Only Yew Inn slept later than me) were awake yet. I looked over at Show Ping, still sleeping...Sim, still snoring....CY, still sleeping....Yew Inn, still sleeping (the 5 of us slept in the "living room" btw). Then I went to the adjoining room, and stood there at the doorway looking at all those snoring guys and sleeping pearl and sleeping nana... all still sleeping! I waited for half an hour for any signs of movement. Hery gave me hope 'cause he turned over, and looked at me. But then, he promptly went back to sleep. Oh gosh! After that I asked him whether he had really been awake, and he told me that he didn't remember anything. *smacks hand on forehead*
After about half an hour, I gave up, so I went off outside by myself. Our room was right next to the beach, and our balcony opened straight to the beach. So, I went and lounged on one of those chairs next to the beach, and stared up at the sky for a while...admiring nature early(fairly early anyway=P) in the morning. Then, I walked the whole length of the beach, splashed around in the water, "xiang sou" (relax and think about life??) on one of the logs in the more shaded area of the beach for a while, walked around the whole of Damai Beach..including walking the 200 steps to hilltop..to hilltop swimming pool..back down and all around the place; and all this took an hour plus. By the time I went back to the room, it was already about 9.30, and they were all....STILL SLEEPING! And they call ME pig?! That's not the worst part. The worst part is that when I saw them still sleeping, I went to change into my swimming suit and went swimming by myself...for an hour plus. And when I went back to the room at 10.45, they were still snoring away. Yes, these are the people who call ME pig! The first person to stir was Sim, at around 11 something. By that time, I was already very much dried by the wind outside on the balcony. And slowly, very very very slowly, one by one stirred..and only 'cause I was trying to make a lot of noise to wake them up without actually shaking them awake. That way, I don't get scolded. heeheehee. I cannot believe these are the people who call me pig. In the time it took for them all to wake up, I'd already done so many "berfaedah"(beneficial? productive?) things. *sighz* *shakes head* Know why I absolutely must blog about this? Because I'm very proud of myself! hehe After 3 days of tiring work at pc fair, 1-2 days of tiring play at damai, I still managed to wake up so early.. it's really an accomplishment for me okay! heehee More pics coming up.. I have to go out now.. no time to upload =P taaa~The title above has absolutely no relevance to my post. It's one of those random things I do. =D
One of my mum's friends came over earlier on. She works for this company that does career guidance counselling etc. etc. and my mum asked her over to talk to me about my "future" because I'm still undecided about what course I should take.. what I should major in Uni yada yada. By undecided, I mean I'm totally clueless.. like totally absolutely completely clueless. She talked for 2 hours and I listened for 2 hours and I nodded and smiled for 2 hours.. and at the end of 2 hours, I learned................nothing that I didn't already know. What a complete waste of my 2 hours. Okay, so she did enlighten me a little (like an insy-weensy tiny little spider little) but it really was pretty much like she was telling me a fairytale I already knew by heart. And to think she usually charges RM100 to talk to people about these things. Forget career guidance counselling, I'ld take her job right now! But it was nice talking to her. I'm just still clueless 'bout what course to take. I'm working on a tagboard for this place.. trying to decide the colours for it now. I'm thinking of making its background black with pink text.. and purple for the names. Oh, it's gonna make the guys feel SOoO gay when they comment! *evil grin* *nyeeheehee* >D But, I'm feeling slightly sleepy now so it might take a couple more days before I actually get the tagboard up and running. I think I've gone slightly stupid from coughing so much. Coughing causes pressure in my head.. then my brain starts spilling and evaporating from my ears and nose. A highly compressed brain is a dysfunctional brain. A ho ho ho!I lost my voice. bleh.. *sob* ness. After being called katak by a smelly pig, now I'm really katak-voiced. *sighs* Oh, clear blue skies, I miss you so! I'm blaming my sickness on the haze! It's taking away my sports, my outdoor activities, my health! *sobz*
Wow.. record breaking since it's usually 3 in a week or a month.. heehee. But, since I'm in a good blogging mood, here's another one for today. =D
by the way, just a little note. It's not that I don't believe you, it's just the way you talk. So stop blogging like I'm not gonna believe you like that lah. =P Anyway, I've been getting obsessed with this damn kawaii japanese anime, Azumanga Daioh. It's not the normal kind of japanese anime with damn cool characters and kickass powers. It's about the life of these sch girls in high school. But it's so kawaii and kinda interesting. Actually I like watching it 'cause of the kawaiiness. hehe.. and there's only like 20+ episodes anyway... or so I think. 'Cause I watch in on youtube and I can only find 20+ episodes. I have yet to get over my paranoia of my harddisk space and download animes. So, if you have a lot of time, you can go search for it. Watch the actual episodes, not those that people cut out from the episodes. I hope you guys like it. 'Cause I like it.. and if I like it, you MUST like it too. ^^ On another note, did you know that swimming at 10.30a.m. till 2 p.m. gets you all wrinkled raisin and sunburnt? I knew that... but I did it anyway. ho ho ho. Now I'm all black and sunburnt and in pain and I have a million different shades of skin colour. I really should stop doing silly things like that. =DJust came back from Assumption mass, and what the priest said really made me think. He's an outstation priest from Phillipines, and this was one of the very few times I actually found the priest's sermon interesting. I know it's very bad but sometimes it gets really boring when it comes to the priests' sermons. There was one part he said, about repenting and fixing the sin you've committed. By going for confession, your sins are forgiven. But that doesn't mean that it will undo the harm that you have caused with your sins. He gave an example, of a person stealing a cow. If you've stolen a cow and eaten it, even if your sins are forgiven, you can't return the cow to the person you stole it from anymore. So what can you do? You can count how much it costs to buy a cow, and return that amount of money to the person. Only that way, will you truly be purged of that sin. And then he gave another example. Friend A goes drinking with friend B. Friend A gets drunk, and punches friend B. Friend B loses his two front teeth. The next day, friend A apologises to friend B, and friend B understands that friend A was drunk and forgives. But friend A can never return the 2 front teeth to friend B. So what can friend A do? He can bring friend B to the dentist and pay for all the expenses required to restore his 2 front teeth.
These were more materialistic examples involving money, but the meaning is clear. If you've sinned, repented, and is forgiven, it isn't enough. It is only truly enough when you've undone the damage that was caused by your sin. Then he told a story. A lady came to confession and told the priest her sins. Among these was one about spreading a bad rumour about someone. The priest told her her penance was to go home, take a chicken, and on the way to church pluck the feathers off the chicken one by one. And when she reaches the church, she is to turn back and walk home, and pick up the feathers she plucked off and stick them back on the chicken...every single feather. She answered the priest, "But how is it possible for me to return every single feather I plucked off to the chicken. Some of it may have flown away." The priest told her, "That's exactly the point. If you've spoilt somebody's good name, it is nearly impossible to restore that person's good name. Because even if you've told only one person and told that person not to tell, that person is bound to tell another person and tell that person not to tell. Soon the word will spread, and people who judge by other's words will have a bad impression of that person. So, even if you've been forgiven during confession, you cannot undo the damage you have caused." The moral of the story is, it's better not to sin in the first place. The point of me writing this is 'cause I really don't understand why some people like to spread false rumours about others and gossip bout people. I know I'll never understand why they do it, but I still wonder. And then there was this whole part about the world ending and we never know when we're gonna die etc etc so we should be prepared every day etc etc. I'm a bit too lazy to blog about that now. =D...is so damn tiring! (there blueapple person.. im complaining.. hehe).. I had to stand pretty much the whole day, promoting printers to people and selling accessories.. but mainly promoting printers. Wasted so much saliva convincing people how great HP printers are, and most importantly, sacrificed my feet to stand all day! ahah Lydia and I were dying already by the end of the day, after standing the whole day, only getting short lil breaks to eat lunch and dinner. GOSH! We are so underpaid! Honestly I don't think the pay we're gonna get is worth it at all. But I'm just going for it for the fun of it and for the experience. It's actually quite fun meeting all sorts of people, if only we could sit more!=D And the worst part is, we got stuck with possibly the worst job! Selling printers is absolutely ugh. It's so ugh 'cause people ask all sorts of silly questions that you cannot answer(and also 'cause we cannot sit down..hehe)! Maybe it's just 'cause we know like.. only so much bout the printers. hehe.. Which is why they shouldn't let us part-timers be in charge of it. If we sold accessories, it'll be so easy...just see price tag, sell, done! But printers we really have to explain to the customers. And many times we had to double check details with the supplier. Horribleness! (Miss Whatever has an obsession for one of our suppliers.. a married man!! A young one.. but he's still married! lol)
Okay, more bout my work experience later. I have reached my limit for the day. Gone are my nocturnal days. I'm gonna go... pass out on my bed now. Good night all~This comment couldn't be published.. don't knw why.. error.. so I just put it here" ms. whatever commented : he's not married!!! well... even if he is... can scandal wat :P kidding kidding.... haha.. don think he is... :P "
...is short...
The ex-librarian/teacher-in-charge of the activities' room is gone. She left this world this morning at about 11 plus. It was kind of expected, since she had been down with cancer in the hospital for quite some time now. Even the doctors had cautioned her family members to be prepared because her cancer was discovered too late. But, one can never be prepared for the loss of a loved one from this world. No matter how much warning we're given...no matter how hopeless circumstances may seem, we can never ever prepare ourselves enough for the death of a loved one. No matter what, we'll always have that little hope that they will recover; that a miracle will happen. No matter what, we'll always hold that little bit of hope in our hearts; praying that God won't take them away from us so soon. The news about her departure shocked and saddened me a lot. Although I didn't know her that well, but I've met her on several occassions.. and she IS my mum's colleague after all. I even visited her at the hospital. She seemed like a really nice person.. and now I'll never have the chance to know her better. I was really sad 'cause I started thinking about her close family and friends; about how they must be feeling right now. I imagined if it was someone that I was close to, how much I'ld cry.. how much I'ld start thinking back about all the things I've done with that person..... and then i thought of my grandma. Of how much I still miss her, even though she passed away 3 years ago. She was really the best grandma anyone could ever ask for.. she was so wonderful, not a single negative characteristic in her at all. She could've been a saint. I remember all the kind words she used to always have for me.. all the songs she sang to me.. all the times I spent with her.. the trips we went on together. I remember her funeral.. I remember how I had to control myself from crying 'cause I kept telling myself that that wouldn't be what she wanted. She wouldn't have wanted me to be sad. She would have wanted me to be strong. And I couldn't cry.. because I had to be there to support my mum. All my aunties were crying, all my uncles had their own families to support, my dad wasn't a very affectionate person.. so if I don't support my mum, who would? It was a terrible feeling.. stopping myself from crying that day. I remember crying for 3 days afterwards; every morning for 3 consecutive days after the funeral.. every morning when I woke up and remembered that she was really gone. I still miss her so so much.. knowing that I can never hear her stories again, that I will never hear her sing again, that I can never seek her for comfort again. The only place I can meet her now is when I dream at night.. and that only if she looks for me in my dreams. =) I've noticed that most people don't appreciate the lives they have. Poor people will complain about their poverty, average people will complain that they're not rich, and rich people will complain about how busy their lives are earning money. There's almost always something to complain about...material things, studies, work etc. etc. We always want a better life. There will always be things we don't have and want, that others have but don't appreciate. I've made it a point to be thankful everyday.. that I wake up to spend another day with my loved ones. That my health, compared to the millions in this world who suffer from HIV, cancer, malaria, etc., is fine. That I'm surrounded by friends and family who care about me.. and for whom I care about. That I'm able to walk, run, jump. That I have a roof over my head, and clothes to wear. That I do not go a day without eating, or drinking clean water. That I live in a peaceful, non-war torn country. That the air I breathe every day is fairly clean. If we just take some time to really think, there are actually hundreds of things in our lives that we can be grateful for. "When I grow up, I'm going to dedicate my life to charity. I'm going to get rich and donate it all to charity. I want to help those poor people; those less fortunate than me; those that make me cry when i read their stories." - 12-yr-old joce to mum. My dreams have not changed. I hope one day, I will be able to AND will be capable of making a difference in this world. And maybe if I dream and pray enough, that day might come. =) Ok, fine, so I've been feeling a bit jiwang lately.. therefore resulting in lame-ass posts about saving the world and appreciating those around you.. but it's true. =PLast night was not a good night. A friend, whom I actually considered as one of my really good friends hurt me, yet again. Someone whom I actually thought knew me better than that. Someone who, despite knowing me for almost a year now, still has plenty of misconceptions about me. People tell me I shouldn't care, but how can I not. It hurts when you know you're not that kind of person, but someone actually thinks you are. It hurts even more when these misconceptions are coming from someone you're supposed to be close to. And this isn't the first time either.
"you're not that kind of person. You know you're not, and WE know you're not. So why should u let the words of one guy get to you so much." I just can't accept that someone I'm supposed to be close to has these kind of judgments about me. It's one thing if a complete stranger passes wrong judgments about me, but its another completely different thing when it's one of my close friends...or so i thought anyway. "You should trust your own judgments. Cos you know yourself better than anyone else. If you can't trust yourself, at least trust your good friends. We've seen you through every possible situation. We've been with you through so many things. We know what you're really like, even if that guy doesn't. So at least trust us." I was still pretty hurt bout the whole thing, but now, after much thought, crying, and talking to my friends, I realised i really shouldn't care so much. So what if he thinks I'm like that, I know I'm not.. the people who MATTER know I'm not. If he's already got that kind of mindset, nothing I can say will change his mind anyway, 'cause no matter what i say, he will think it's beCAUSE I'm like that that's why I'm saying that. There's no way I can reason with him 'cause he'll always have something else to say. So, instead of judging him the way he judged me, I'm going to forgive. There's no point in me caring what he thinks about me if he thinks all the wrong things anyway. I don't like friendships jeopardized over things like this. And I don't stoop so low as to start judging people. "If you judge people, you have no time to love them." - Mother Theresa Words of a truly wonderful woman. I love all my friends, despite their shortcomings and flaws. I love them for who they are, for the support and care they show, for knowing when I need them the most. Sometimes they may hurt me, but getting past these hurts is what makes me stronger and what makes the friendship stronger. In my life, I will meet all sorts of people. If I'm going to go around judging every one of them, what kind of life would that be? A pathetic one. "You forgive people too easily. You always have, always will." Is that a bad thing? I think not. "joce, cheer up k? don't let wat he said get to u coz the rest of us knoe ure not like tat, n weve known u for so many yrs.....obviously he doesnt know u that well, n it's not ur fault he's an idiot n can't see that ure not what he says,obviously he also never read ur testys coz anyone who knows u well would know that u are VERY seldom angry, i really probably only seen u angry once or twice in the many many yrs i've known u! ure always so cheerful n so calm,tell me lah, if ure really 'siau qi' like what he say,u think we all will still always kacau u meh? ppl always like to kacau u COZ they know that u dont get angry easily mah right.. n ur reaction very funny=) so cheer up,yeah! i know ure still hurt coz u really thought he knew u better than that n he is ur good fren,but if he knows u so long n still dont know what ure really like. no point getting hurt bout it yeah? so cheer up, *big hug*!" - jc dearie's testy Thanks all of you for all the concern, advice and support. I'm past the "hurt, disappointed" phase. Now, I'm in the "I wanna hug everyone" phase. *Hug hUg huG HuG HUg hUG HUG!* And one special hug for the one who misjudges me, even if he's probably never gonna read this, because if I can hug the one who hurt me, I have fully forgiven. Without friends, I don't know where I will be in life. Thanks, you guys...really appreciate it a lot =) "Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired." - Mother Theresa Love you guys much much! =P
