Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Darimu yang mampu menyanjungku

Yes, I do like some Malay songs as well. Anyway, back to the blog.

"Don't judge." Something we hear a lot, but human nature makes it so natural for one person to judge another. Everyone is judgmental, whether we like to admit it or not. But it is entirely in our power to regulate how much we let judgments control our life.
I, for one, am totally against judging someone until you really get to know that person. Their actions may seem queer, uncommon... fake, even... to us, but we won't know for sure until we truly understand that person. It takes time to know and understand someone and the reasons behind the things they do and say... the way they think. Most people find the easy way out. Rather than take their time to understand a person, they judge and decide then and there whether that person is "this" or "that".
I have a friend whom I love and adore. But the thing that really irks me sometimes, is the fact that she can judge someone so easily. She sees the surface of people's actions and words, and passes judgment on the spot. Nothing you say to her will change her mind... even when she is proven otherwise. She sees someone doing something. It makes her angry, disappointed, frustrated, and bam, that person is lower in her eyes than before. She judges... without ever making the effort to understand.
My policy? Accept. Accept people for who they are. Why judge? You won't understand someone unless you, first, accept them. No one is perfect. Not even you. If others can accept your flaws, why can't you accept theirs?
Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to make myself sound all righteous and harmonious. I'm not perfect. Far from it, too. I do judge people too, sometimes. Much as I try not to. But I try to stop myself when I realise that I'm judging. I don't like people judging me without first getting to know me. If I can help it, I don't like people judging me at all (unless it's a good thing, heehee). I don't do unto others what I don't like done to myself. I try not to anyway. It may sound really cliche (you cynics may laugh), but that's how I think. That's how I choose to lead my life. Judge me not.
And in case anyone's getting any ideas... no, this is not a personal attack on anyone. It is... pretty much just emo-ness. =D

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Humbled I bow down, In your presence, at Your throne

Be warned. More religious walla-walla ahead. For those of you who may scorn at how religious I tend to be. The 25th World Youth Day is happening in Sydney in July this year.

"World Youth Day is the largest youth event in the world and will be held in Sydney from Tuesday 15 to Sunday 20 July 2008.

Organised by the Catholic Church, World Youth Day brings together young people from around the globe to celebrate and learn about their faith on a more regular basis.

WYD08 will be the largest event Australia has ever hosted. It will attract over 125,000 international visitors - more than the 2000 Olympics.

WYD08 will mark the first visit of His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI to Australia and we look forward to welcoming him to the "Great South Land of the Holy Spirit".

Through the WYD08 experience, young people from throughout the world will make a pilgrimage in faith, meet, and experience the love of God.

World Youth Day is an invitation from the Pope to the youth of the world to celebrate their faith around a particular theme. Everyone is welcome to attend."

Visit here for more information.
Do you know how much I wanna go?!?! I wanna go this |<-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->| much... and more. It's not every day that this kinda opportunity comes about. I mean, when will be the next time it's held in Aus? And by then, I might not even be a youth anymore. Plus, the pope is coming. I get to meet the POPE. I wanna go SO MUCH. So what's stopping me? $$$. It costs $400 for a week's worth of activities, accomodation, and food. Plus airtickets of about $200, it'll be $600 altogether. Worth it? Definitely. Anything for God. But should I?
I really want to go! And it's something I need right now. I haven't been to church for almost a year now, since I went to the island ('cause there wasn't one on the island, and the buses here don't run on Sundays, so I can't get to church unless I walk 2 hours every Sunday to get to church and 2 hours back, which I really don't mind, but it's wasted time which I can use for doing assignments.. yes assignments because I'm SO FAR BEHIND). And at a particularly low (well, kinda) point in my life right now, it's something that'll help me. And it'll bring me closer to God. I am so itching to go. Can money just drop from heaven now so I don't have to think twice about going??
Another worry: we need a group when we register. I know some friends who are going, but we're not quite that close. Although I suppose with so many youths around, that's not much of a problem is it? I have no idea. I just want to go so bad. ANYONE I KNOW AND LOVE GOING TO THIS THING?!?! =D
So should I go? Anyone?
My darling Aunt Irene reckons I should go 'cause it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and I've earned a fair bit of money on the island. But I've promised myself that all that money should go to my Uni tuition fees. Most of it is gone now, though, 'cause of mr eng's PR application and supporting 2 people (mr eng and myself) for a couple of months. HOW?!?!
Mr eng, if you read this, can you please ask mum about it? =D
Back to the question, should I go?? Whoever's going to this thing, tell me! I need a group to register... IF I go. I want to. Badly. Because this is something I need right now. Btw, people from all over the world are coming. *hint hint: people who are in UK and Malaysia, you can come too! ahem.*

Saturday, April 26, 2008

I think I'm moving but I get nowhere

"Change. We don't like it. We fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. It hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn't, is lying. But here's the truth. Sometimes the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Sometimes change is everything." - Meredith Grey, Episode 1 Season 4.

Patience and responsibility. Caution and focus. Love and kindness. Anxiety, rivalry, grief, fear. Joy, fun, gratitude, support. Emotions run high within the walls of a hospital. Emotions of doctors, and patients. I've come to realise that the one thing that keeps me going back to watch Grey's Anatomy, despite the promiscuity of the doctors, is the satisfaction of watching the workings within a hospital, and the ups and downs of their emotions; Their ability to pick themselves up. Their ability to support each other. Their ability to adapt. Their ability to do all they can to keep a person alive. Their ability to juggle a million emotions a day.
Yeah, change happens. No matter how much we try to hold on, and wish for things to never change. Change happens. But is change necessarily a bad thing? Humans were made to adapt to every kind of situation we are thrown into. Survival instincts. Basic animal instincts. And from each experience, we learn. And we grow. And growing hurts. But we learn to pick ourselves up every time we fall. And we learn to grow more.
I believe that everyone needs someone. A friend, a family member, a significant other. We all need someone. To help us pick ourselves up when we think we can't stand up again. To remind us that... everybody's someone. =)
*There’s light in every single star, you're more than who you think you are. - Leann Rimes, Bryan McFadden*

Friday, April 25, 2008

Grrrr

I need to get some frustration out. Let off some steam, so to speak. Apparently, some of YOUR friends are under the impression that I moved here because I'm not independent enough and need someone (namely, my bro... who isn't even here anymore) to TAKE CARE of ME.

Okay, I'ld like to ask ONE question (or a couple of questions for that matter): If I couldn't freaking take care of myself, HOW THE HECK do you think I survived on the island... the ISOLATED island... for 7 months?! HOW THE HECK do you think I worked AND lived there ALL BY MYSELF, CUT OFF from the rest of the world?! HOW THE HECK do you think I survived the whole of last year?! Have you ever thought of that?!
So please, learn how to USE YOUR BRAINS before you give others this kinda impression of me. In any case, it has already been proven countless times that I'm much more mature than you. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
*think happy thoughts.... pink elephants and lemonade...... =D*

Pink elephants and lemonade

I do believe I'm still a little girl at heart. Enjoy! Courtesy of my lovely evil twin, heehee.

Madonna - Dear Jesse (Jessie?)
Baby face don't grow so fast
Make a special wish that will always last
Rub this magic lantern
He will make your dreams come true for you
Ride the rainbow to the other side
Catch a falling star and then take a ride
To the river that sings and the clover that
Brings good luck to you, it's all true
Chorus:
Pink elephants and lemonade, dear Jessie
Hear the laughter running through the love parade
Candy kisses and a sunny day, dear Jessie
See the roses raining on the love parade
If the land of make believe
Is inside your heart it will never leave
There's a golden gate where the fairies all wait
And dancing moons, for you
Close your eyes and you'll be there
Where the mermaids sing as they comb their hair
Like a fountain of gold you can never grow old
Where dreams are made, your love parade
(chorus)
Your dreams are made inside the love parade
It's a holiday inside the love parade
On the merry-go-round of lovers and white turtle doves
Leprechauns floating by, this is your lullaby
Sugarplum fingertips kissing your honey lips
Close your eyes sleepy head, is it time for your bed
Never forget what I said, hang on you're already there
Close your eyes and you'll be there
Where the mermaids sing as they comb their hair
Like a fountain of gold you can never grow old
Where dreams are made, your love parade
chorus

Thursday, April 24, 2008

After me, there shall be no more

Madam Roo and Baby Joey wishes Happy ANZAC Day to all!

ANZAC Day falls tomorrow. Public holidays, woohooo! It's supposed to last till Monday (holidays I mean), but I'm not sure. *fingers crossed* So I won't have to skip class and feel guilty about it. So what IS ANZAC Day, you ask? It's an Australian national holiday which marks the anniversary of the first major military action fought by Australian and New Zealand forces during the World War I. ANZAC, therefore, stands for Australian and New Zealand Army Corps. Needless to say, I didn't know that either. I had to google it. =D

"THERE'LL be at least one pub with no beer on Anzac Day in Australia.

The Cocos-Keeling Islands have run out of the golden ale because of an irregular shipping arrangement for general supplies.

Kylie James, manager of West Island's community-owned, non-profit Cocos Club said: ``To have no beer to serve on Anzac Day is very un-Australian''.

She and other islanders had asked the Federal Attorney-General's Department to intervene before the holiday.

The department has responsibility for the Australian territory which lies about 2800 km north-west of Perth.

In the short-term, the islanders want beer shipped over and then for the Government to impose some sort of structure to make future shipping supplies more regular.

But the Government this week refused to bail the island out with beer.

The Attorney-General's Department has implemented arrangements to facilitate additional essential supplies being forwarded to the island,'' a statement from the Government said.

"A special emergency freight plane was commissioned to supply essential staple food items, this includes flour, rice, milk and the like."

"Beer does not qualify for this category." ''

Never did realise how smart Australian government is, huh?

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

And when you're out there, Without care

*Spoiler alert: I hereby warn anyone who hasn't watched 1408 and will do so in the future, that there might (or might not) be spoilers contained within this post. I cannot be responsible for what I type when I'm in fear/ terrified/ agitated/ panicked/ anxious. Neither can I control the information I may disclose about the movie.* Why do I do these things to myself.
5.25 p.m.: I'm attempting to watch 1408 on my own. In my room. All alone. About the craziest thing I've ever done to myself. Everyone knows how freaked out I get and how much I hate horror (supernatural paranormal kinda horror) movies. And here I am, attempting to watch one on my own. *whimpers* Which is why I'm here. To relieve a bit of the panic I'm feeling at the moment. And nothing scary has even happened yet. He's just about to enter 1408. Wish me luck. I'll be back when I feel the need to escape the movie for a bit again.
5.30 p.m.: Omgosh Omgosh Omgosh omgosh omgosh. The room is dark. There's a woman and baby living next door. omgosh omgosh omgosh omgosh omgosh. Please don't let anything happen to the baby. omgosh omgosh omgosh omgosh omgosh. Anticipation is bad.
5.35 p.m.: Nothing's happening. I can't take this anymore! I'm gonna go a-taking a shower and a-taking my dinner before I continue. I very much doubt I would dare to go into the bathroom once the movie proceeds.
6.25 p.m.:
And the torment continues...
6.50 p.m.
: I lasted 25 minutes without coming here. The radio the radio the radio. Omgosh omgosh omgosh.
6.55 p.m.
: @)#(*$#^)(*@#(*&$#)(*@&#)(*#@! 7.10 p.m.: @)#($*)@#(*$)@#$&(@#*$&(#@* "What I was, you are... What I am, you will be" *freaky smile* AND MY PHONE RINGS. WHAT THE CELAKA OMGOODNESS KICK ME!!!
7.20 p.m.: Please don't ever make me stay in a hotel room alone. I draw the line at a minimum of 4 people in a room. A small room. So there'll always be someone with me at any one time.
7.30 p.m.: I stopped being scared for about 10 minutes. Now I am freaked beyond anything. Hold me. *sniff*
7.35 p.m.: CHEH! Anti-climatic. It wasn't real!
8.35 p.m.
: It WAS real! @#(*$&#@&^$*&#@^($#@
Remind me to never ever ever do things like these to myself. *sobz*

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Its hard to remember where we were at a year before.

When I'm given time to procrastinate, I get jiwang (emo-ish?). In a burst of sudden holy inspiration, I present:

The Ten Commandments
(Exodus 20:2-17)
1 “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me.
2 “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them.
3 “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.
4 “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.
5 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.
6 “You shall not murder.
7 “You shall not commit adultery.
8 “You shall not steal.
9 “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
10 “You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.“
It's not easy trying to be as close to God's image as possible, but we can always try, can't we? No one's perfect, but we can try our best...even if our best isn't all that much to us... it might be something to someone else. =) Yeah, so what if I'm jiwang/emo. It makes me happy. Like how I believe I can save the world. Heeheehee. You can be a cynic if that's what floats your boat. We're all entitled to what we each individually think. So I have rose-tinted glasses... that floats my boat all the way to the sky (ooh, flying ship)... so what?
Anyone interested in a world-saving adventure? teehee teehee. And no, I don't smoke weed.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Because the drugs never work, They're gonna give you a smirk

More about dreams? Yes. So I like my own fantasy worlds. Makes me feel so much more important. *grin*

I once had Harry Potter and Transformers dreams (on 2 separate nights, of course). I think a certain hiao miao will remember this. We shall not go into details. The gist of it was that Decepticons were trying to catch us, and we needed the bathroom. And Bumblebee was my pet. And the Harry Potter one consisted of us running up this huge tower consisting of classrooms, and fighting off baddies while locking them in classrooms (yes there were classrooms all along the way up the tower -.-) and casting barrier spells so they couldn't get out. Further details will not be provided.
"It's the most... wonderful time... of the year". So Christmas is 8 months away, can't I wish for it now? Hehe.
And here I leave you, as I dash off to class (since I already skipped this morning's lecture =D). And the truancy continues. *sighs*

Sunday, April 20, 2008

I can taste the clouds, And my wings can carry me to your window

I've been having really weird dreams lately. Most of it involving running away from something. I frequently have dreams about running away from something. But never THIS frequent. And by THIS frequent, I mean 5 nights in a row. All different, too. But all running.

Sometimes, I'm a prisoner escaped from prison and authorities are after me (rasa Prison Break). Sometimes, I have something very important (either something tangible or knowledge of some sort) and legions of bad men are after me (rasa secret agent). Sometimes, I have powers and "with power comes great responsibility". Needless to say, superheroes attract baddies like bees to honey (rasa Superhero). Sometimes, I'm running from the devil. Seriously (rasa angel). And sometimes, I'm running towards something. I could go on and on about all the different kinds of weird running away dreams I get. Maybe next time.
Every time I wake up pondering and trying to remember every single detail of the dream, so that I can scour over them... kinda like re-watching a very interesting movie. This greatly disturbs me. Maybe I just watch too many movies.
"Chase dreams often stem from feelings of anxiety in your waking life. The way we respond to anxiety and pressure in real life is typically manifested as a chase dream. Running is an instinctive response to physical threats in our environment. Often in these dream scenarios, you are being pursued by some attacker, who wants to hurt or possibly kill you. You are running away, hiding, or trying to outwit your pursuer. Chase dreams may represent your way of coping with fears, stress or various situations in your waking life. Instead of confronting the situation, you are running away and avoiding it. Ask yourself who is the one chasing you and you may gain some understanding and insight on the source of your fears and pressure."
Anxiety? I know not what anxiety is. Fear? Pressure? What could possibly be pressuring me during HOLIDAYS....? Needless to say, I must have a lot of hidden inner fears that I don't know of if the above paragraph is true. O.O Not to mention, I've been having chase dreams a lot since I was young. Not fun. Am I really that afraid or pressured? Not that I'm aware of, though. o.O Neither is there anything that I'm avoiding or running away from. Most of the time, I'm trying to outwit my pursuer. Watched too many movies? Or am I really destined for something greater? WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
"The Native Americans believe that you should turn on your pursuer if you dream of being chased, wrestle then to the ground then unmask them. Follow this wise counsel and you will discover that your fears may not be as terrifying as you thought."
What if I'm afraid of finding out what I'm afraid of?

Friday, April 18, 2008

A strangled smile fell from your face

Success! I have a pretty title. Heehee. But I'm too lazy to go back and do the same for all my previous posts... let's see how many I change before I give up.

Edit: I got rid of the pretty title because it turns out replacing the title with an image one that I create myself renders the posts title-less, and screws with my archives. Any help anyone?
All of a sudden, I'm getting visitors from all over the world entering my page through here. NICI should pay me for free advertising. I can't believe how bimbo-tic I sound in that post, though. Hehe. But I really DO love NICI.
No one's answered me about the digital piano/keyboard! Okay, so I only posted the question yesterday, but erm... patience is not a virtue that is required at a time like this. My fingers are itching for a piano. Blame this on the holidays and having pianos in Uni for Bachelor of Music (BMus) students to use. I'm currently helping one of my friends doing BMus in one of her subjects, and I, therefore, have access to the pianos for the rest of this semester. Muahaha. But, of course, it'll be nicer if I had one (digital piano/keyboard) at home. But is it worth it? Yes no yes no? Can't decide!
Holidays end in 2 days. NooooooooooooOOoooooooo! *Armageddon approaches* And, truth be told, I've done zero studying all hols. What I DID do was finishreading4bookssleepplaypianogooutwatchmoviessleepplaypianocooksleepgooutplaypianowatchanimeplaypiano. Yup, that about sums it up. I am a sloth. Huhuhu.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Other times I'll let you, Just find out on your own

Note to self: never EVER again leave mails unanswered for a few weeks. I have spent a good half of my morning AND afternoon replying mails 'cause I figured I can't put them off much longer. Oh my head. I'm sorry to whoever received mails full of thoughts all over the place, because WOW, I really need to start replying mails as soon as I read them. It's much less tedious than having to re-read all of them and reply. And I write novels when I reply... well not to everyone, but erm, the point is I DO write novels to some. Haha.

Can you believe, my tiramisu's already all finished? A friend came over today, and... it's all gone now.
I've been thinking, should I get a keyboard or a digital piano? As in, should I even get either one? 'Cause I no longer have a piano here that I can "ting-tong" on whenever I feel like it (even the one in Kch has gone to nana). And playing the piano relaxes me... somewhat. And it would keep me from thinking too much at times. Is it worth it to get a keyboard or digital piano though? Anyone?
Behold, the thinking face!
Picture courtesy of Mr Chang. I normally would've murdered him right away. But it was such a silly face I couldn't resist. Hehe. Dare to be me. *ahem* I was actually trying to be stupid. It would seem that... it worked.
Wanna know what else isn't good? I'm actually starting to like JT's Sexyback. -.- I used to make fun of Hiao Miao about it too! Noooooooo... my worst nightmare.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The rain is falling on my window pane, But we are hiding in a safer place

It's the most wonderful feeling in the world when you receive news from old friends. Starting a few days ago, old friends have been contacting me out of nowhere... even to the extent of overseas phone calls that last hours. They must be sensing that I've been feeling slightly nostalgic as of late (and that sometimes, even though I want to SO much, my laziness gets to a certain point where I put off replying mails for a few days or even weeks... I AM making an effort towards improving that, though... and most times, it's the case of SO MUCH TO DO, SO LITTLE TIME). Hehe. I LOVE YOU GUYS! All of you. =) It really doesn't take much to make me happy, does it. So much love. Awwww. I feel love. Can you tell?

I tried making tiramisu today. Without an electronic whisk. I forgot how long it actually took to whisk egg whites to firm peak manually. Oh my aching arm! So my first attempt at tiramisu turned out... not too bad. Apart from the fact that I put too much coffee. I'll let the picture speak for itself.
I didn't manage to get a picture of the actual finished product (which, of course, looks a lot better than the picture of whatever I scooped into my mug). But, all that matters is that it tastes good. Mmmmmm. I'll get a better picture next time.
The next project I'm going to undertake (or plan to anyway): Cheesecake! Now that I have an oven and a proper kitchen that I can muck around in.. fun fun fun. Hehe. Provided I'm hardworking enough to actually go hunt down the ingredients, that is.
Also... I have a new media player! Right there, to the left. I can't mess about with the colours for the player though. =( And because I drank the leftover coffee from making the tiramisu, I am now goldfish-eyed awake. Like I'm not nocturnal enough already.
Facebook is the ultimate spawn of all evil that has been keeping me online and away from Uni work! But only because I keep trying to see how long I can keep leveling myself in the Heroes thingy until I get sick of it, teeheehee. Or this could just be another excuse for my procrastination.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

But the more I think, The less I believe it

Come on, 'fess up, who stays in Stockport or uses Stockport ISP?? If you don't know where that is.... neither do I! Google map places it somewhere near London, or somewhere in that general area in UK.

I finally finished reading Small Gods! The longest (times a thousand) I've spent reading one book, simply because I have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). I finished half a million books (probably not that much of an exaggeration too) in between starting Small Gods and finishing Small Gods. Hehe. It's sort of like (my thoughts in blue) "The Great God Om said this to Brutha" *oh look, another few hundred books* *wait what did the Great God Om say to Brutha?* "And the Great God Om crawled to where Brutha lay, and said" *Oh look, MORE books!* *what was it he said again?* *hey, movieeees*. I still wanna marry Terry Pratchett's son, though. If he had one. Who had his sense of humour. And ability to entertain.
So, what is the difference between this...
And this (apart from the colour of the straws and all that rubbish, of course)...
There is none! I swear they both taste the same. Maybe it's 'cause they had to import it here from Singapore, and by the time it reaches Australia, the flavour's all vapourised. Or maybe it's 'cause I drank them both ice-cold and it numbed my tongue so much I couldn't taste? hmmmm...
I am a rabbit. Watch me nibble. *nom nom nom*

Monday, April 14, 2008

So I can dance here with my hair down

And a swift reply I received about my previous post: "I've never known you to be anything but yourself, so that bit you needn't worry about. The fact that you even have these thoughts prove that although you are unsure, you are very much you. And yes, I believe that in the end, all that matters is that we are ourselves and not fakes. Stop jiwang-ing! ;)"

Okay, I wasn't being jiwang, for one, I was just... thinking. Yes, I do believe that ultimately, all that really matters is that we are ourselves. So what if we still don't know our lives' purpose and all that philosophical stuff. I guess, as long as we live as best we can, that's all that matters. Isn't it?
This is exactly the reason why I never give myself time to think... 'cause I tend to over-think.
Edit (4.00 a.m.): I just read Ian's blog and apparently, he's been blogging about finding one self and not knowing himself as well. O.O I guess pet and mistress really do think alike huh. Haha.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

I wish the real world, Would just stop hassling me

On the road to self-discovery: the process of discovering oneself... as explained by the wise man ***** (name protected for security reasons, because he is too wise -.-). I believe that everyone is on a journey of self-discovery, whether consciously or subconsciously. Well, I THINK I am anyway.

I honestly don't know who I am most of the time. I don't know whether my personality is really mine. Or a mixture of random personalities I've picked up throughout my life. I don't know whether my values are really what I believe in. Or values that I want to believe in. I don't know whether I was made this way. Or whether I made myself through my thoughts. I don't know whether the things I like and hate are really things I like and hate. Or things that I was told and brainwashed into liking and hating. I don't know whether I am who I think I am. Or someone totally different deep down inside (I don't THINK so anyway).
But ultimately..... ultimately, being ourselves is all that matters isn't it? At least that's what I believe.
Disclaimer: Post inspired by mysterious wise man mentioned above. The thoughts above do not belong entirely to me.

Friday, April 11, 2008

'Cause you won't let go, Of anything you hold

I'm getting very worried. Been around reading blogs, and everyone I know have apparently all been very hard at work studying by themselves at home and paying attention in classes and all that. Me? This is what I do in class.

I remember drawing this bird everywhere on my friend's notes in college 'till she got so annoyed... heeheehee
See that blacked out part? The only thing I actually scribbled on that whole page apart from the rose is "look into their minds". What the...? I can't decide whether I was or wasn't paying attention.
Yes, I draw random sketches on my notes. And this isn't even half of what I've been sketching. I've been sleeping in class, listening to songs, and worst of all, I've been skipping millions of classes and doing everything else at home! O.O Maybe I was meant to just stop studying now and find work with my diploma. -.- Seriously though, it's really worrying when I realise that people who used to play around in class with me back in high sch/college are all so motivated and hard-working now. I need motivation. I need to stop being so lazy. Even if it totally goes against my nature. I need.... self-discipline. =(
Side-tracking a little. What happens when Tenzin's had one too many beers? "Save Tibet! Ok? Save Tibet. That's all we want. Save Tibet. Okay? Say it. Save Tibet." What happens when I've had one too many cans of Sprite? "Whattheohmygoodnesswhaaacelakapingpongpiang, ahhhhh!"

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Everybody's someone

I would like to declare that I love my wonderful chicken oh-so-much because my wonderful chicken always gives me wonderful songs. Enjoy! I was smiling to myself watching this video. So so.... lovely.... *smiles*

And every day begins the same,
Get up;
go out, come back again,
Same old, same old.
A thousand faces pass you by,
You never look into their eyes,
You feel so ordinary, they feel so ordinary.
Hey, everybody’s someone,
No matter where you come from,
There’s light in every single star, you're more than who you think you are.
Hey, everybody’s someone,
And when it’s hard to hold on,
Remember you are not alone; this house is everybody’s home.
And every day we seem to chase,
The perfect smile, the perfect face
Same old, same old.
For everyone who gets to shine,
A million more are left behind,
They feel so ordinary, you feel so ordinary.
Hey, everybody’s someone,
No matter where you come from,
There’s light in every single star, you're more than who you think you are.
Hey, everybody’s someone,
And when it’s hard to hold on,
Remember you are not alone; this house is everybody’s home.
From a king to a common man,
We’re all part of a greater plan,
There’s light in every single star,
You’re more than who you think you are,
Hey, everybody’s someone,
And when it’s hard to hold on,
Remember you are not alone;
This house is everybody’s home.

I'm staring down myself, Counting up the years

I have a dilemma. Is Lionel good or bad? Good or bad? Good or bad Good or bad? Goodorbadgoodorbadgoodorbadgoodorbadgoodorbadgoodorbadgoodorbadgoodorbad goodorbadgoodorbadgoodorbadgoodorbadgoodorbadgoodorbadgoodorbadgoodorbad goodorbadgoodorbadgoodorbadgoodorbadgoodorbadgoodorbadgoodorbadgoodorbad??? On one hand, he seems genuinely concerned about Clark's wellbeing. On the other hand, he seems like a selfish bastard. I can't decide! Horrible. Someone should lock up my laptop. So much ray-dee-ay-shyonnnnn (layman's terms: radiation) !! Which can only mean one other thing.. no uni work done at all so far these hols. Story of my life.

USQ Club is erm... noisy... and loud. Thus, after 2-3 (not quite sure how long we were there) hours there oh-so-early this morning...2-3 hours of attempts at conversation resulting in shouting above the noise... I am croaking like a katak (frog) on drugs. On drugs because I still insist on talking 24/7 (including croaking my way through a phone call from KL... of ALL the times to call me) and singing to myself. "To myself", of course, refers to the singing, not the talking. I don't talk to myself. *insert random music note* you can't stop the mewww-zikkkkkk *insert random different music note*
mmmmmm, hot chocolate and marshmallows... mmmmmmmmmm

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

You bring me honesty, And that's worth believing in

Okay, I admit, I like Westlife. *hangs head in shame* As in, I'm not a diehard fan or anything, I just like their singing, not them. 'Cause their singing's very... peaceful? Even though they're very typical and cliche and everything I shouldn't like. But they're old. I think. Hehe. I like too many things for my own good. Maybe that's why I'm always so indecisive.

7 months of housekeeping = not good. I have a cleaning compulsion. In addition to my many OCD's. -.- If I see dust in my room, I freak out. *sighs*. Why won't the dust just leave me alone?! =(
This arrived today (because glasses in Aus are soooo expensive... and my very very old ones broke due to an accident I choose not to disclose here). I would've been a lot happier if the words at the side didn't say "Playboy" in pink... and I do mean bright pink *takes out black marker and colours over it*. The colour of the frames are supposed to be silvery pinky/purpley too, but it looks silver in the picture. Remind me to never ask my dad to buy specs for me again. I mean, Playboy?! PLAYBOY?! -.- I doubt those are glasses for a girl (despite the fact that they're a girly colour)!! BUT, in all honesty, it doesn't look half that bad (minus the Playboy at the side -.-, if I could just find some way to break them off without killing the rest of the frame...) Thank you daddy dearest and mummy dearest!
And now that it's getting cold and nearing winter, it's time to pull out my super fluffy socks! Okay maybe not super fluffy but they're really comfortable and warm... and purple... with hearts... doesn't get any cuter than that. I could hug my socks to sleep at night!! Fluffiness *grin*
Now if you'll excuse me, Ueki Kousuke awaits.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

The choo-choo train left right on time, A ticket costs only your mind

Was speaking to a couple of people, and apparently quite a lot of people read my blog, but NEVER LEAVE ME ANY MESSAGE. Ishhh. At least leave me a message in my chatbox or comment or something so that I'ld KNOW you read my blog. So that, erm... in case I ever feel the need to complain about you on my blog, I'ld know not to, heehee.

It's the start of my 2 week hols! Well, not quite. It started on Friday, but I've been busy. My anime's and movies call for a lot of my time. So I haven't been able to update or reply anyone's mails or *cough cough* study. Yes, I did plan to study during these holidays (if only to erase the guilt that arose from skipping so many classes since the start of semester). But of course, everyone knows how hardworking *ahem* I really am. *innocent grin*
I am officially addicted to Guitar Hero. Although I've only played it twice, and I don't really like half the songs on it. Rock is not my thing. But it's the songs that I DO like that matter. And the whole thrill of improving at Guitar Hero. Not that I've improved all that much from playing it twice. It's just like ... dota! Or not. 3 weeks of no dota because it's been 3 weeks without Mr. Eng. I'm probably back at square one now. Just when I've stopped dying too! =D "MEGA KILL" "[insert random nickname] is GOD LIKE"
If anyone has any movies to recommend, now would be the time. If anyone wants to fly down to visit me, now would be the time *glares at jase and tim*. 2 weeks. TWO weeks. TWO WEEKS. Mc'D, Hungry Jacks, or supermarkets? Ideas anyone? (Places to work I mean.)
Totoro! I prefer the real thing though, the big fluffy cuddly one.

Friday, April 04, 2008

To meet such a man...

A story that was forwarded to me, a reminder of how much and why I love God.. be warned, long holy jiwang reading ahead (And because it's so long, I've put it in a smaller font so it won't take up as much space):

I sat, with two friends, in the picture window of a quaint restaurant just off the corner of the town-square. The food and the company were both especially good that day. As we talked, my attention was drawn outside, across the street. There, walking into town, was a man who appeared to be carrying all his worldly goods on his back. He was carrying, a well-worn sign that read, "I will work for food." My heart sank.
I brought him to the attention of my friends and noticed that others around us had stopped eating to focus on him. Heads moved in a mixture of sadness and disbelief. We continued with our meal, but his image lingered in my mind. We finished our meal and went our separate ways. I had errands to do and quickly set out to accomplish them. I glanced toward the town square, looking somewhat halfheartedly for the strange visitor. I was fearful, knowing that seeing him again would call some response. I drove through town and saw nothing of him. I made some purchases at a store and got back in my car.
Deep within me, the Spirit of God kept speaking to me: "Don't go back to the office until you've at least driven once more around the square." Then with some hesitancy, I headed back into town. As I turned the square's third corner, I saw him. He was standing on the steps of the store front church, going through his sack.
I stopped and looked; feeling both compelled to speak to him, yet wanting to drive on. The empty parking space on the corner seemed to be a sign from God: an invitation to park. I pulled in, got out and approached the town's newest visitor.
"Looking for the pastor?" I asked.
"Not really," he replied, "just resting."
"Have you eaten today?"
"Oh, I ate something early this morning."
"Would you like to have lunch with me?"
"Do you have some work I could do for you?"
"No work," I replied. "I commute here to work from the city, but I would like to take you to lunch."
"Sure," he replied with a smile.
As he began to gather his things, I asked some surface questions.
Where you headed?"
" St. Louis ."
"Where you from?"
"Oh, all over; mostly Florida ."
"How long you been walking?"
"Fourteen years," came the reply.
I knew I had met someone unusual. We sat across from each other in the same restaurant I had left earlier. His face was weathered slightly beyond his 38 years. His eyes were dark yet clear, and he spoke with an eloquence and articulation that was startling. He removed his jacket to reveal a bright red T-shirt that said, "Jesus is The Never Ending Story."
Then Daniel's story began to unfold. He had seen rough times early in life. He'd made some wrong choices and reaped the consequences. Fourteen years earlier, while backpacking across the country, he had stopped on the beach in Daytona. He tried to hire on with some men who were putting up a large tent and some equipment. A concert, he thought. He was hired, but the tent would not house a concert but revival services, and in those services he saw life more clearly. He gave his life over to God
"Nothing's been the same since," he said, "I felt the Lord telling me to keep walking, and so I did, some 14 years now."
"Ever think of stopping?" I asked.
"Oh, once in a while, when it seems to get the best of me. But God has given me this calling. I give out Bibles . That's what's in my sack. I work to buy food and Bibles, and I give them out when His Spirit leads."
I sat amazed. My homeless friend was not homeless. He was on a mission and lived this way by choice. The question burned inside for a moment and then I asked: "What's it like?"
"What?"
"To walk into a town carrying all your things on your back and to show your sign?"
"Oh, it was humiliating at first. People would stare and make comments. Once someone tossed a piece of half-eaten bread and made a gesture that certainly didn't make me feel welcome. But then it became humbling to realize that God was using me to touchlives and change people's concepts of other folks like me."
My concept was changing, too. We finished our dessert and gathered his things. Just outside the door, he paused. He turned to me and said, "Come Ye blessed of my Father and inherit the kingdom I've prepared for you. For when I was hungry you gave me food, when I was thirsty you gave me drink, a stranger and you took me in."
I felt as if we were on holy ground. "Could you use another Bible?" I asked.
He said he preferred a certain translation. It traveled well and was not too heavy. It was also his personal favorite. "I've read through it 14 times," he said.
"I'm not sure we've got one of those, but let's stop by our church and see"
I was able to find my new friend a Bible that would do well, and he seemed very grateful. "Where are you headed from here?" I asked.
"Well, I found this little map on the back of this amusement park coupon."
"Are you hoping to hire on there for awhile?"
"No, I just figure I should go there. I figure someone under that star right there needs a Bible, so that's where I'm going next."
He smiled, and the warmth of his spirit radiated the sincerity of his mission. I drove him back to the town-square where we'd met two hours earlier, and as we drove, it started raining. We parked and unloaded his things.
"Would you sign my autograph book?" he asked. "I like to keep messages from folks I meet."
I wrote in his little book that his commitment to his calling had touched my life. I encouraged him to stay strong. And I left him with a verse of scripture from Jeremiah, "I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you; Plans to give you a future and a hope."
"Thanks, man," he said. "I know we just met and we're really just strangers, but I love you."
"I know," I said, "I love you, too."
"The Lord is good!"
"Yes, He is. How long has it been since someone hugged you?" I asked.
A long time," he replied
And so on the busy street corner in the drizzling rain, my new friend and I embraced, and I felt deep inside that I had been changed. He put his things on his back, smiled his winning smile and said, "See you in the New Jerusalem."
"I'll be there!" was my reply.
He began his journey again. He headed away with his sign dangling from his bedroll and pack of Bibles. He stopped, turned and said, "When you see something that makes you think of me, will you pray for me?"
"You bet," I shouted back, "God bless."
"God bless." And that was the last I saw of him.
Late that evening as I left my office, the wind blew strong. The cold front had settled hard upon the town. I bundled up and hurried to my car. As I sat back and reached for the emergency brake, I saw them... a pair of well-worn brown work gloves neatly laid over the length of the handle. I picked them up and thought of my friend and wondered if his hands would stay warm that night without them.
Then I remembered his words: "If you see something that makes you think of me, will you pray for me?" Today his gloves lie on my desk in my office. They help me to see the world and its people in a new way, and they help me remember those two hours with my unique friend and to pray for his ministry. "See you in the New Jerusalem," he said.
Yes, Daniel,I know I will...
"I shall pass this way but once. Therefore, any good that I can do or any kindness that I can show, let me do it now, for I shall not pass this way again."

Turn around and say "good morning" to the night

My PM on Msn as of a few hours ago: "There can only be one" (I'm actually referring to the Warcraft God mode cheatcode ... as in literally Warcraft 1 I think... or maybe 2? Was it even warcraft? Might have been Quake 2? I can't really remember, hehehe)

To which I received different variations of replies:
"'Cause the world can only handle that many joce's at a time"
"'Cause one joce has enough energy for all of us dy"
"Why only one? We need more joce's!"
"yeah I agree, one joce already headache enough! bwahaha"
"yar man, one joce smiles enough for the whole population"
Okay, so that's all that I'm willing to share with the whole wide world (the whole wide world that reads my blog, that is). The rest were a bit erm... mushy? or erm... lame? or erm... Okay I just don't wanna share the rest. Hehe. What kinda responses are those I ask? What do you mean one joce headache enough huh huh huh??? *shoots limestone sharpened ninja stars at jon*
Anyhoo, now that I'm not sobbing my heart out (ok fine, not quite sob, I just erm,.. I had tears =D) about the super depressing anime anymore, I can give a brief overview of what it was about. It's about war and loss. The End. *grins sheepishly* oKAY oKAY, it's about the story of how a boy lost his mum during an air raid, how he survived with his super-ultra-cute little sister during the ongoing war (and frequent air raids), how much he took care of his little sister, how he eventually lost his sister too, due to malnutrition ('cause of lack of food during wartimes, and the fact that he didn't qualify for the food rationing), and how he eventually died. Very sad!!!! But I loved it, 'cause it had... so... much.... love! I love love, can you tell? But it was so heartbreaking when his sister died. *sobz* She was so cute too! And hence, now you know why it's the Most.Depressing.Anime.Ever.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Grave of the Fireflies

Most. Depressing. Anime. Ever.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

I faked my interest, Avoided hazards, Checked my engines, I fell behind

It was just one of those days (referring to the previous post). I'm all better now. The cause of those thoughts? My assignment and how frustrated I was with it. Hehe. But now that my assignment's all done and submitted, I'M OKAY! I haven't felt so relaxed in days! Now for some fun. Maybe I'll go roll around in the green green grass outside and sing.

Today is USQ's Harmony Day, held in order to "Think about our community's success as a multicultural society, re-commit to continuing tolerance, good will and understanding across all groups, and say no to racism". "Celebrating Harmony Day this year will include international food stalls, music, cultural dances, and a fashion show highlighting traditional garments from various countries." This was what it said in the email I received.
What there really was, though, were 3 food stalls, 2 stalls selling some sort of souvenir, and a bunch of guys smiling at you for no reason. -.- Harmony Scharmony. Needless to say, I didn't stay long enough to witness the cultural dances and "fashion show".
I so need someone who plays bball, or tennis, or squash, or swims! 'Cause I can't do all that by myself. I need someone who wants to go rock-climbing and hiking with me. I need someone who wants to go roll around in the green green grass and sing with me. I need someone who wants to go dance classes with me. I need someone who wants to go soft toy shopping with me. I need someone who wants to dress up "for no real reason but just for the heck of it" with me. I need someone who is just as random (not crazy, I might add) as me. Most importantly, I need someone who wants to do silly "wuliao" things with me!
And no, I'm not asking for a boyfriend, I'm asking for a friend who would do everything I wanna do (which is, honestly, way too much) with me! Not that I don't have friends here. I do. And they're really good friends too. They're just not as... erm... spontaneous (is what I'd like to call it) as me. Heehee.
Of course, it would also be wonderful if that someone would want to cook for me and clean my room for me too. =D
And the grass outside looks so greeeeeen.......... Grass-rolling tendencies, be gone!

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

'Cause I hate the way I feel inside, And I promised I'll make a sacrifice

Referencing's a bitch. Finding out at the last minute that your assignment due date is actually not on a Monday, but a Wednesday is bad. The outcome? Wasting the whole of Monday and rushing at the very END of Tuesday to complete the assignment that could've already been completed if not for the last-minute discovery of an extra 2 days. *sighs* Referencing... is... a... BITCH!

Not to mention how much bandwidth this assignment is taking up, my oh-so-precious bandwidth!
Lately I've been feeling like I'm not capable. Like I'm just not capable. Of anything. One of those moments? Maybe. Hopefully.