Forgiveness

Last night was not a good night. A friend, whom I actually considered as one of my really good friends hurt me, yet again. Someone whom I actually thought knew me better than that. Someone who, despite knowing me for almost a year now, still has plenty of misconceptions about me. People tell me I shouldn't care, but how can I not. It hurts when you know you're not that kind of person, but someone actually thinks you are. It hurts even more when these misconceptions are coming from someone you're supposed to be close to. And this isn't the first time either.

"you're not that kind of person. You know you're not, and WE know you're not. So why should u let the words of one guy get to you so much."

I just can't accept that someone I'm supposed to be close to has these kind of judgments about me. It's one thing if a complete stranger passes wrong judgments about me, but its another completely different thing when it's one of my close friends...or so i thought anyway.

"You should trust your own judgments. Cos you know yourself better than anyone else. If you can't trust yourself, at least trust your good friends. We've seen you through every possible situation. We've been with you through so many things. We know what you're really like, even if that guy doesn't. So at least trust us."

I was still pretty hurt bout the whole thing, but now, after much thought, crying, and talking to my friends, I realised i really shouldn't care so much. So what if he thinks I'm like that, I know I'm not.. the people who MATTER know I'm not. If he's already got that kind of mindset, nothing I can say will change his mind anyway, 'cause no matter what i say, he will think it's beCAUSE I'm like that that's why I'm saying that. There's no way I can reason with him 'cause he'll always have something else to say. So, instead of judging him the way he judged me, I'm going to forgive. There's no point in me caring what he thinks about me if he thinks all the wrong things anyway. I don't like friendships jeopardized over things like this. And I don't stoop so low as to start judging people.

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." - Mother Theresa

Words of a truly wonderful woman. I love all my friends, despite their shortcomings and flaws. I love them for who they are, for the support and care they show, for knowing when I need them the most. Sometimes they may hurt me, but getting past these hurts is what makes me stronger and what makes the friendship stronger. In my life, I will meet all sorts of people. If I'm going to go around judging every one of them, what kind of life would that be? A pathetic one.

"You forgive people too easily. You always have, always will."

Is that a bad thing? I think not. "joce, cheer up k? don't let wat he said get to u coz the rest of us knoe ure not like tat, n weve known u for so many yrs.....obviously he doesnt know u that well, n it's not ur fault he's an idiot n can't see that ure not what he says,obviously he also never read ur testys coz anyone who knows u well would know that u are VERY seldom angry, i really probably only seen u angry once or twice in the many many yrs i've known u! ure always so cheerful n so calm,tell me lah, if ure really 'siau qi' like what he say,u think we all will still always kacau u meh? ppl always like to kacau u COZ they know that u dont get angry easily mah right.. n ur reaction very funny=) so cheer up,yeah! i know ure still hurt coz u really thought he knew u better than that n he is ur good fren,but if he knows u so long n still dont know what ure really like. no point getting hurt bout it yeah? so cheer up, *big hug*!" - jc dearie's testy

Thanks all of you for all the concern, advice and support. I'm past the "hurt, disappointed" phase. Now, I'm in the "I wanna hug everyone" phase. *Hug hUg huG HuG HUg hUG HUG!* And one special hug for the one who misjudges me, even if he's probably never gonna read this, because if I can hug the one who hurt me, I have fully forgiven. Without friends, I don't know where I will be in life. Thanks, you guys...really appreciate it a lot =)

"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired." - Mother Theresa

Love you guys much much! =P