To Shorty =p

This was supposed to be a reply to your comment, but for some reason, I cannot access my own comment area, I think my internet is screwy here 'cause I'm using school pc, ishhh.. so here I go posting my reply to your comment =):

I would go online every day to chat with u and everyone else from back home to keep me sane... but my Uni time is impossible, and assignments too. haihz.

Until I have another meltdown like I had that day, I've already decided to go on. That was a one-time when I was lower-than-low decision.

And as you probably would have gathered from ALL my blogposts thus far since I came here, I don't consider ANY of my coursemates here friends. Seriously. Fine, maybe friends, but definitely not anywhere near good friends. They're just people I hang out with in Uni. That's as far as I even admit to any relationship with them. That's how bad it is. It's not that I expect a lot from them. All I want is for them to be more mature, I mean hello you're in Uni okay. If you don't know what they're like, refer to previous post. And I hope for sincerity... even a bit of sincerity would do. Like I mentioned in the previous post, on the outside I get along perfectly well with them. I laugh I play I whatever with them. But on the inside, I know what kinda people they are. So I couldn't really be bothered. The thing is, at least you still have friends there, which is good. I only have "friends" here. Because their friendship is about as true as you being tall (couldn't help it =p). There is one Taiwanese girl whom I'm okay with... as in she seems more sincere than all the rest, so hopefully I'm not deceived again.

The friend who disappointed me... she's a status climber, if you know what I mean. She's the kind who will leave you standing there alone if she sees another "more important" (eg. rich) or will-benefit-her-more person and start chatting away with them, disregarding your feelings. So, like I said, I don't consider any of them true or proper friends.

The whole breakdown was due to a whole lot of emotions already whirling around inside me, plus that disappointment in her and *boom* everything came rushing. But I'm a lot calmer now, and I can actually think clearly now. So, unless things get really bad (eg. they threaten my life), I'm gonna try to hang on and be strong, because I don't think God made me to give up so easily. At least I know that when I'm finished and gone through all this misery, at the end of the tunnel, I will have you guys... my family and my dearest friends (as corny as it sounds). =)

Being here has taught me a lot of things. It's especially taught me how much my family and friends from back home mean to me. I feel like all these years I've been taking all of you for granted, because I've never had anything bad to compare you guys to, to realise just how great all of you really are and how major a part you all play in my life. Coming here and having the coursemates that I have, it made me realise that I'm not always surrounded by people that I can trust and people that I love. And it makes me appreciate you guys so much more. Seriously everytime I think about all of you, I feel like giving everyone a big hug to show how grateful I am for all of you. Haha.

Will you by any chance be back in July? I just might be back in kuching then. =)