Sir I wanna buy these shoes

Christmas Shoes

It was almost Christmas time

And there I stood in another line

Trying to buy that last gift or two

Not really in the Christmas mood

Standing right in front of me was a

Little boy waiting anxiously

Pacing around like little boys do

And in his hands he held

A pair of shoes

And His clothes were worn and old

He was dirty from head to toe

And when it came his time to pay

I couldn't believe what I heard him say

CHORUS

Sir I wanna buy these shoes

For my mama please

It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size

Could you hurry sir?

Daddy says there's not much time

You see, she's been sick for quite a while

And I know these shoes will make her smile

And I, Want her to look beautiful If mama meets Jesus tonight

He counted pennies for what seemed like years

Then the Cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here."

He searched his pockets frantically

Then he turned and he looked at me he said

"Mama made Christmas good at our house

Though most years she just did without,

Tell me sir, What am I gonna do?

Some how I gotta buy her these Christmas shoes."

So I laid the money down

I just had to help him out

And I'll never forget the look on his face when he said,

"Mama's gonna look so great."

CHORUS

I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love as he thanked me and ran out

I knew that God had sent that little boy to remind me what Christmas is all about

CHORUS

From the movie "Christmas Shoes". And yes, I know it's very much too early for Christmas, but I'm in the mood... all year round. Heehee. It's a really good movie. Sad, but really good. I cannot guarantee you won't cry (well, I did... blah... but we all know how easily I get touched by movies -.-). WATCH IT! If you feel like Christmas. =D

And supposedly you could crawl right through me

I'm not one of those kids privileged enough to get phone calls from home every other day. Mummy calls me like once every.... month... possibly. And if I'm lucky, twice. Simply because call cards are expensive (and my dad's all about saving money). And I don't call back at all (unless asked to or I have something really important to discuss), not because I don't think of them all the time, but because every time I call back the connection goes a bit screwy so it's better just waiting for them to call. Most of the people I know who come from overseas gets phone calls from their mums or dads almost every day, or every alternate day at least. *sighs*

Point is, daddy called me just now just to talk. Awwwww.

Now, if any of you know my dad, you would know that he's not exactly a man of many words. And mostly, you would know that my dad has never ever called me just to talk. He always calls to ask "do you still have money? Do you need me to send you any?" "Yeah, just to let you know I sent you something yesterday so you should be receiving it in one or 2 weeks so look out for it etc." or other "business matters", and then says "do you want to talk to mummy or bro?", which usually means that he has nothing else to say (or so I assume). Normally he just touches on basic questions like "how's studies?" and "have you had your dinner?" before moving on to "business". You could say he's not one who chit-chats much with his children over the phone.

But he called today just to ask how I was, and to talk and laugh with me. No "business matters"... nada. Am I surprised? Oh, yes definitely. Am I happy? Deliriously! My daddy misses me. Awwwww.

Current mood: All hearts and smiles =) =) =)

To face unafraid, The plans that we've made

"In life only one thing is certain, besides death and taxes... No matter how hard we try, No matter how good our intentions, we are going to make mistakes. We are going to hurt people. We are going to get hurt. And if you're ever going to recover, there's only one thing to say. Forgive and forget. That's what they say. It's good advice, but it's not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled. Old wounds never heal. And all that we can hope for... is that someday, we can forget."

I reckon it's really easy to forgive. Forgetting not quite as simple 'cause we can't tell our brains what to remember and what not to. We can't block out reality. We can't fence out hurts. If we could, I'ld be in a really happy place all the time. And I mean that in the sanest way, of course. Heeh. The trick is to not dwell on what hurts us... or what used to. No dwelling. Just walking. Forward, preferably. Sideways is permitted, just not backwards.

Easier said than done, but not as hard as most of us really think. Take this from someone who gets angry one second, and smiles the next. I'm not crazy. I just find it easier to ignore hurts and anger than to pine over them. Keeps you happy and young and vibrant and bouncy. Not that I hop around. Truth is, you really can't please everyone.

I'm in this world to be me. You're in this world to be you. She's in this world to be her. And so on and so forth. If we're all gonna get angry and stay angry at all the little things that hurt us, the world will be an abyss of irate and resentful mammoths eating each other just because "you call me stupid. I don't like. I eat you."

So what if the other person still holds a grudge. You'll be the better person for being able to forgive. And if you learn to forgive, maybe one day you really will be able to forget.

So I've been listening to Christmas songs again (even though Christmas is 7 months away). I can't help it. Particularly since the weather's getting really cold. Like it should be for a proper Christmas mood. But it's summer here during Christmas. *sulks* No making snow angels and Frosty, and picking the perfect tree to chop and decorate. No coming home on Christmas day to a warm fire burning in the fireplace and a roasted turkey sitting on the dinner table. No Mr Scrooge staring in the window at Tiny Tim and his happy family. Okay so maybe that's going a bit far. But it would be nice to have a White Christmas for once.

Think of those young and early days, How I've changed along the way

Sweet innocence. So cute!

WHY GOD MADE MOMS

All answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions :

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related..

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name..

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?

3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. (yes, he was really trying to say "dye it")

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd GET rid of that.

2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

So maybe there's not a lot to do, Or maybe I'm just making myself confused

Highlight of yesterday: A scary incident when my housemate almost burnt down the whole house 'cause she left her brew cooking on the stove at FULL heat and forgot about it (she does this really often, too). And me, brave firefighter woman me, walked out of my room to a house full of smoke, ran choking downstairs to turn the stove off (amidst the ominous smoke, I might add), and opened the doors and windows to air the house. Come now, I at least deserve a congratulatory pat, don't I? It's not every day I save my house from burning down *grin*. It smelt like really pungent peng kiamhu (fried salted fish?) the whole of last night, but today it smells... like piss. o.O Go figure.

Sho anyhoooo, in an attempt to de-stress, I, as always, found something to experiment with. Voila! I present to you my first ever attempt at baking.

My pioneer cookie-making journey: honey and oat cookies. Tasty, yet healthy. Didn't really make much in case I screwed it up... this being my first batch of cookies ever. And I reckon 10 pieces (you only see 8 pieces there 'cause 2 are already safely inside me) of fairly big cookies is more than enough to last me a week or two. Doesn't look so good, 'cause I just glopped random sizes of batter onto the baking tray. Tastes so good though, mmmmmmmm.

When I was home, I used to bug people when I get stressed. I sing, I laugh for no apparent reason because stress makes me very happy (-.-), I run around, I bug people. But since I can't do that anymore here ('cause my housemates don't have to know just how...erm... special I really am.. well I do still sing and laugh, but not so much of the running around and bugging people *grin*), I cook. Or bake, in this case. Or paint. Or make pretty stuff. Or google random stuff, i.e. recipes. And a hundred other things that I find entertaining (and somewhat amusing), but I probably shouldn't digress.

If only I had a car. If only I had friends who played sports. If only the courts and pool didn't cost any money to enter. If only I would stop procrastinating.

Speaking of which, I found out from my classmates yesterday that... my exam hall (the one in the city? the one I have to catch a bus at freaking 6.40 am in the morning to get to on time 'cause my freaking exams are all at 8 in the morning and the later bus will arrive at 8.05 so I have to arrive a full hour earlier at 7.05 and wait?) is actually a nightclub. O.O Talk about designating the most appropriate place for exams huh. Says a lot about how questionable my Uni is.

And now, I shall return to eating my cookies and spluttering around in my pool of html codes.

It's gonna hurt when it heals too, It'll all get better in time

I promised myself I wouldn't blog or do anything remotely entertaining until I complete my assignment. But....

I have caught the lazy bug... again. I was doing so well too! *sigh* Maybe it's 'cause of the sudden burst of hard continuous work after months of slacking. Spent the whole of yesterday t-shirt printing, painting, and card-making, just for fun... just to get my mind off everything else. Sometimes I wonder whether I should've taken up arts and crafts instead.

Spent the whole of the day before that "grocery-shopping". That was the initial plan anyway, to just get my groceries and come home, but ended up wandering around the mall with Kat much longer than I really should have (although I did went and checked out my exam hall so I won't get lost on the exam day itself)... looking at puppies and all sorts of random stuff. And then went out for a jog that caused me an overnight fever -.-. Never wise to jog in chilly autumn-winter air in shorts.

AND I spent the whole of today listening to Final Fantasy music (I really should stop. It's starting to become an unhealthy obsession O.O), looking for piano scores even though I haven't even gotten a keyboard yet, daydreaming, and not going out because of the sense of guilt that I really should be working on my assignment.

God help me.

And to the little miss (kids these days *shakes head* =P) who was asking me whether she should ask ***** out, I found you a forum. Okay, so I googled it after you left 'cause I was trying not to think about all the work I had to do. But anyway, here (Anyone else who wants to, go ahead and click on it. It's just some forum about whether girls should ask guys out bla bla bla). And I read it too! So I got as far as the second page, heh, but erm... I think it might help motivate you somewhat? Personally, I'ld never do it 'cause I have no guts. But yesh, you obviously do. Heh. Bah, just go read that. I have a lot more meta name = bla, and p style = bla to go. *sobz*

Current mood =(((((((((

Suteki da ne, Futari te wo tori aruketa nara

I would first like to say that I haven't been replying mails even though I've been break-ing from assignments 'cause when I break, I literally break from everything and just lie around doing nothing. You know who you are, person that I'm directing this at. But that doesn't mean that I don't still love you. I was just...breaking. Haha. But I PROMISE I will reply soon... within 48 hours. Although I have returned to my perpetual assignment-ing. But a promise is a promise. =D

Of fantasies and fairytales. I really need to stop obsessing over Final Fantasy (and all other fantasies for that matter... RPG's and fairytales included).

Seriously though, why can't life be an RPG where we can all be heroes and heroines. I want my perfect ending too. My perfect "together we fight to save the world with our superhuman skills and powers if you die i can summon phoenix to revive you we defeat big boss and along the way i fall in love with you you fall in love with me everyone falls in love with everyone else and we all live happily ever after" ending.

I would like to be the heroine of some story one day. It would be great if I had super agility and archery skills as well. And materia. Let's not forget the materia. Being able to hit enemies simultaneously would help. Oh, and my hero waiting for me after we kill super ridiculously big and ugly boss(lady).

But, of course, life doesn't really work that way. It never does. I can dream though, can't I?

Sometimes I do wonder whether my head really grasps the concept of reality at all. Heehee.

Just one more promise and then I’ll leave

"KATHMANDU (AFP) - A 48-year-old Nepalese Sherpa broke his own world record Thursday by getting to the summit of Mount Everest for a breathtaking eighteenth time.

Appa Sherpa, who hails from a village at the base of the world's highest peak, reached the top of the world in the early hours of the morning, the head of Nepal's Mountaineering Association told AFP.

"Appa Sherpa summitted Everest at 5:45 (0000 GMT) this morning. He has set the new world record as it is the eighteenth time he has got to the top," Ang Tsering Sherpa said.

"This is another proud moment for the whole mountaineering fraternity."

Members of the communities around the mountain are essential for the dozens of commercial expeditions that cram Everest for the spring climbing season when jet stream winds briefly drop before the monsoon rolls in.

They lay out kilometres of ropes and prepare camps, and Appa Sherpa -- who started climbing in 1987 -- was quickly recognised as someone expeditions wanted on their team.

He bagged his first Everest summit in 1990, and has been making the climb into the "death zone" look like child's play ever since.

This year he summitted with the Eco Everest expedition, an international team aiming to highlight the effects of global warming in the Himalayas as well as test ecologically-sound mountaineering practices.

"He wasn't planning on trying for another summit, but he joined the Eco Everest expedition as he wanted to raise awareness about melting glaciers and the fragility of the mountain environment," Ang Tsering Sherpa said.

Since it was first summitted in 1953 by Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay, the 8,848-metre (29,028-foot) mountain has been summitted more than 3,000 times."

Some people have too much time. 18 times. That's an average of one a year considering he started climbing when I was born. O.O I'ld like to summit Mt Everest just once. Unfortunately, I've never even summitted Mt Santubong. =/

So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time

Is it really just an impossible dream? Or something worth believing in? I don't know. But I do know... I have no time for any of this. At this current point in time, I only have time for assignments. Which really just sounds awfully sad. Heh.

I have decided... that it's about time I took a break from my assignments for a bit, despite the fact that I'm still way behind. And by break, I mean a real break from any form of work for the rest of tonight, and not those little breaks I take all too often (you can't really expect me to sit down and work for more than an hour without doing something else now do you?) while I'm working on my assignments.

It isn't particularly good for my health, particularly my mental health, to be suddenly this diligent. Which is really just the consequence of being hopelessly lazy before, but let's not delve into that. I should really be compensated for all the hard work I've put into my assignments for the past few weeks. Compensation, say, in the form of ice cream? Ice cream cravings at the end of autumn and beginning of winter. Mmmmmm. And roasted chicken cravings since 3 weeks ago because of Sim *glares*, but that's another story entirely.

For now, we shall talk about the fact that I am in a happy place. Listening to non-stop Final Fantasy songs does wonders to a person. It brings them to a happy place. I am in a happy place. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

A classmate sat watching me (I was working on something and talking to another classmate... like a normal person, I might add) for a few minutes the other day, burst out laughing and said "you're really amusing". What he probably meant was "you're really weird". *sighs* I try not to be. Really.

Was it real or just my fantasy?

OMGOODNESS I HAVE TO DESIGN FREAKING WEBSITE FROM SCRATCH WHAT KINDA STUPID ASSIGNMENT IS THIS?!?!?! I like designing the website, yes. But *sobz*, but I have to keep it very professionally business-looking, and I have to make up history and summaries about this company that I know nothing about. And why do I not know anything about it? Because the company and business doesn't even exist. It exists solely for the purpose of the assignment, so I basically have to make up everything. Now, if it were just making up a story, I'ld be perfectly fine, but this has to be professional and appropriate and all that crap that falls within the guidelines of the rule book and GAH, I'm gonna spontaneously combust again.

Die spreadsheets, die website designing, die all things assignments!

I'm really frustrated, can you tell?

Edit: It turns out it really wasn't quite so bad after all. I really do need to learn to stop panicking before I actually attempt things. =D

Ask us where you at, We don't know

My "belated valentines' day present" has arrived! Courtesy of clemiao and bong. Thank you thank you! *muaks muaks* I present... my new darling!

Tueo tueo tueo (<--this is meant to be a sound effect, by the way. Not some random gibberish -.-). Anti-climatic, no? That is supposed to be a picture of my new external HDD. As you can see, it's already plugged in and in action. Nyahaha. I really needed this! 'Cause I have countless dvd's full of movies and whatnot that I really should store in a more reliable place, i.e. my new darling. 320 gb of extra space. Muahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Let's hope all that space lasts me at least a year or more yes?

I finally attended class today. Needless to say, my classmates were shocked that I actually showed up today. "Like whoa, you're actually here!" "Fancy seeing you here today huh" "Omg, it's you!" And the list of sarcastic comments rolls on. Of course it was 'cause I decided I wanted to learn and be a diligent student from now on. Totally not because I had a presentation so I was forced to go. What rubbish.

But it was, like I should've guessed, a waste of my time. We were learning html coding. Stuff that I already knew. Pfft. Babies. Heehee. It's thanks to my blog and playing around with the codes, though. *grins* However, going to class today did teach me one thing. That I still have SO MUCH TO DO on my assignment! Crap. Why oh why does the world hate me so? *sob*

No matter how far, Run through the door and into my arms

Oh how the wind howls. Sudden drop in temperature today. And a sudden wave of homesickness and nostalgia. Crap. Haven't felt this for a really long time.

I miss home. I miss mummy, daddy, bro. I miss my friends. I miss having them around. I miss being crazy. I miss talking. *sigh* I'm turning into this quiet old woman who sits at home and knits (not that I knit... really, I don't).

I think these assignments and impending doom (exams) are really taking a toll on me.

Remind me to never leave things to the very last minute again. And not to slack for 3 quarters of the semester and panic after.

I miss you guys. Immensely!

Oretaaaaa Awai Subasaaaaaa Kimi Wa Sukoshi (I have no idea what that means though -.-)

I found a Bleach Rock Musical. Omgoodness cool stuff. Their voices are mostly really similar to the ones in the anime. Some of the characters look like the ones in the anime (Byakuya, Ichigo, Yoruichi), but some are rather disappointing (e.g. Ichimaru Gin should have those small slit eyes, Izuru Kira should be better-looking, Hitsugaya Toshirou should look younger, and the list goes on and on). And they don't feature some of the characters either. =( Nevertheless. Cool stuff. If you fancy a bunch of Shinigami prancing around the stage being silly.

Here's the first part. Find the rest yourselves. Nyahaha. Not that I actually finished watching all of it either. I really shouldn't. Not when there's still 2000 words left to my assignment and loads of html programming shits.

I wish they'ld dance and sing less and fight more though. You'll understand if you watched it.

Ow ow ow ow ow! I freaking knocked my head on the corner of my cupboard. *tears streaming down my face* OW!

If I were standing on the balcony, And you were walking down below

Two down and one more to go. Yay! Speaking of my assignments, of course. I have had no life for the past week. *grumble grumble* One more week and I'll be free. Somewhat. Until a week after when aNOTHER assignment is due. *sigh* Story of my life.

I really think I'm starting to go blind in my right eye! Why does it blur for no reason?! *sobz* Anyway, I leave you with an interesting (and very long, just a forewarning... but if you have the time, why not =) story:

"My father never drove a car. Well, that's not quite right. I should say I never saw him drive a car. But, sure enough, my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents bought a used 1950 Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a Chevy dealership downtown. It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with everything, and, since my parents didn't drive, it more or less became my brother's car. He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove was a 1926 Whippet.

'In those days,' he told me when he was in his 90s, 'to drive a car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive through life and miss it.'

At which point my mother, a sometimes salty Irishwoman, chimed in: 'Oh, bull----!' she said. 'He hit a horse.' 'Well,' my father said, 'there was that, too.' So my brother and I grew up in a household without a car. The neighbors all had cars -- the Kollingses next door had a green 1941 Dodge, the Van Laninghams across the street a gray 1936 Plymouth, the Hopsons two doors down a black 1941 Ford -- but we had none. My father, a newspaperman in Des Moines, would take the streetcar to work and, often as not, walk the 3 miles home. If he took the streetcar home, my mother and brother and I would walk the three blocks to the streetcar stop, meet him and walk home together.

My brother, David, was born in 1935, and I was born in 1938, and sometimes, at dinner, we'd ask how come all the neighbors had cars but we had none. 'No one in the family drives,' my mother would explain, and that was that. But, sometimes, my father would say, 'But as soon as one of you boys turns 16, we'll get one.' It was as if he wasn't sure which one of us would turn 16 first.

But, sure enough, my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents bought a used 1950 Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a Chevy dealership downtown. It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with everything, and, since my parents didn't drive, it more or less became my brother's car.

Having a car but not being able to drive didn't bother my father, but it didn't make sense to my mother. So in 1952, when she was 43 years old, she asked a friend to teach her to drive. She learned in a nearby cemetery, the place where I learned to drive the following year and where, a generation later, I took my two sons to practice driving. The cemetery probably was my father's idea. 'Who can your mother hurt in the cemetery?' I remember him saying more than once.

After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to the beauty parlor, he'd sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio. In the evening, then, when I'd stop by, he'd explain: 'The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored.' If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out -- and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream.

As I said, hewas always the navigator, and once, when he was 95 and she was 88 and still driving, he said to me, 'Do you want to know the secret of a long life?' 'I guess so,' I said, knowing it probably would be something bizarre.

'No left turns,' he said. (This is in America where they drive on the right side of the road)

'What?' I asked.

'No left turns,' he repeated. 'Several years ago, your mother and I read an article that said most accidents that old people are in, happen when they turn left in front of oncoming traffic. As you get older, your eyesight worsens, and you can lose your depth perception, it said. So your mother and I decided never again to make a left turn.'

'What?' I said again.

'No left turns,' he said. 'Think about it. Three rights are the same as a left, and that's a lot safer. So we always make three rights.'

'You're kidding!' I said, and I turned to my mother for support.

'No,' she said, 'your father is right. We make three rights. It works.' But then she added: 'Except when your father loses count.'

I was driving at the time, and I almost drove off the road as I started laughing.

'Loses count?' I asked.

'Yes,' my father admitted, 'that sometimes happens. But it's not a problem. You just make seven rights, and you're okay again.'

I couldn't resist. 'Do you ever go for 11?' I asked.

'No,' he said 'If we miss it at seven, we just come home and call it a bad day. Besides, nothing in life is so important it can't be put off another day or another week.'

My mother was never in an accident, but one evening she handed me her car keys and said she had decided to quit driving. That was in 1999, when she was 90. She lived four more years, until 2003.

He continued to walk daily - he had me get him a treadmill when he was 101 because he was afraid he'd fall on the icy sidewalks but wanted to keep exercising - and he was of sound mind and sound body until the moment he died.

One September afternoon in 2004, he and my son went with me when I had to give a talk in a neighboring town, and it was clear to all three of us that he was wearing out, though we had the usual wide-ranging conversation about politics and newspapers and things in the news.

A few weeks earlier, he had told my son, 'You know, Mike, the first hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred.'

At one point in our drive that Saturday, he said, 'You know, I'm probably not going to live much longer.'

'You're probably right,' I said.

'Why would you say that?' He countered, somewhat irritated.

'Because you're 102 years old,' I said.

'Yes,' he said, 'you're right.'

He stayed in bed all the next day.That night, I suggested to my son and daughter that we sit up with him through the night. He appreciated it, he said, though at one point, apparently seeing us look gloomy, he said: 'I would like to make an announcement. No one in this room is dead yet'An hour or so later, he spoke his last words:

'I want you to know,' he said, clearly and lucidly, 'that I am in no pain. I am very comfortable. And I have had as happy a life as anyone on this earth could ever have.'

A short time later, he died. I miss him a lot, and I think about him a lot. I've wondered now and then how it was that my family and I were so lucky that he lived so long. I can't figure out if it was because he walked through life; or because he quit taking left turns.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it. What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.' Pericles"

Simplicities of life, huh? If only we really could walk through life.

You can't stop my happiness, 'Cause I like the way I am

Never make pancakes when your mind is half on your assignment. I had salty pancakes for breakfast (yes, you guessed it... I put half a teaspoon of salt instead of sugar into my pancakes -.-). Tried to cover the slight saltiness with a topping of nutella, which kinda helped... a little.

I just watched Hairspray (mid-assignment de-stresser *grin*). And I think it's really cool! I'm a sucker for musicals as it is (well, not particularly the High School Musical type, but nonetheless). What I really liked about it, though, wasn't the singing and dancing (although they did help), but the message. Unity of colours; negros, whites, too bad they didn't add Asians into the mix. And going against the whole "skin-and-bones" syndrome of Hollywood; Tracy being a particularly big main actress. And, of course, the typical "bitchy beauty queen" mother and daughter pair who get what they deserve in the end. And ultimately, it's about accepting people for who they are, regardless of differences in colour, size, and personality. I like.

The songs don't beat those from Phantom and Les Miserables though. *One day more, another day, another destiny, this winding road to Calvary.* Heehee.

I'm gonna keep repeating this message until I finish my assignments =D:

"And for the following days till next week, until my assignments are all handed in, all you're gonna get are short "wuliao" (erm, redundant? silly? I have no idea how to fully translate wuliao to English without changing the meaning slightly) posts like these, 'cause I haven't the time to be typing up long emo posts or looking up interesting things I can blog about or coming up with stories, while I'm stressing over assignments."

Cheerio. Isn't that a cereal?

Ooooh, I wanna go dancing again! One two cha cha cha, three four cha cha cha, hehe

I'll write 'Sincerely yours" and sign my name

I think I'm going blind. Vision in my right eye is very frequently blurred. Anyone can tell me what could be the matter? I try not to wear contacts that much anymore, ever since 2 previous occasions of eye infections. Even the Optician here told me that my right eye seems to be a bit dry. I pray to God nothing serious is wrong with my eye. =(

The last time I counted, I haven't been to class in more than a month (apart from one tutorial in between 'cause I had a presentation so I had to show up). Do I have a problem? Yes, I do believe so. Do I study at home then? Yes, I do try to. At least there's some effort there. And so, I return to my 2 remaining assignments due next week, and the one due a week after.

I'm gonna keep repeating this message until I finish my assignments =D:

"And for the following days till next week, until my assignments are all handed in, all you're gonna get are short "wuliao" (erm, redundant? silly? I have no idea how to fully translate wuliao to English without changing the meaning slightly) posts like these, 'cause I haven't the time to be typing up long emo posts or looking up interesting things I can blog about or coming up with stories, while I'm stressing over assignments."

P.S. I love you. =)

And yes, de-stressing in between assignments required a movie.

And when one day we say we no longer want to live

Click! *sobz* I miss mummy and daddy. =(

One assignment down. 200 more to go.

And if there's something wrong, Who would have guessed it

It's funny. The top 4 countries of readers of my blog are from, in this order, UK, Malaysia, USA, Australia. Shame on you, countries of my residence (M'sia and Aus), you're getting beaten by UK and USA! *shakes head in disbelief*

I'm gonna keep repeating this message until I finish my assignments =D:

"And for the following days till next week, until my assignments are all handed in, all you're gonna get are short "wuliao" (erm, redundant? silly? I have no idea how to fully translate wuliao to English without changing the meaning slightly) posts like these, 'cause I haven't the time to be typing up long emo posts or looking up interesting things I can blog about or coming up with stories, while I'm stressing over assignments."

Hippotamusxylonitepieceofcrapassignment

I am back, just 10 minutes after the previous post, because, I absolutely despise assignments which have to be done in a formal report format. Despise. Abhor. Hate. Detest. Loathe. Gaks-ness.

Hate it this <--------------> much because I'm basically regurgitating the same thing over and over again in the letter of transmittal, executive summary, intro, conclusion, and recommendations. Basically swallowing the information from the executive summary and selectively spewing it across the other sections. Waste of my time, space, and printing paper. Most of all, waste of my effort! =(

But as you sleep, And no one is listening

When people get stressed, they eat. When I get stressed... I cut my hair.

Yes, you heard me. I cut my own hair. I'm very proud of the result too, I might add, considering I'm nowhere near a professional hairdresser. Hehe. Although my hair still looks pretty much the same. Just a little tiny bit shorter. Gave it a quick trim and layer 'cause it was going all out of shape already. Can't really tell the difference unless I tie up my hair.

I've been saving lots on food (in truth, requiring no conscious effort at all, 'cause of my teeny appetite and my ability to feel bloated from just a piece of bread). And now I can save money on haircuts too. Nyahahahaha.

I've been considering a hairstyle change. But looks like that's gonna have to wait since I just layered my own hair. *grin*

And for the following days till next week, until my assignments are all handed in, all you're gonna get are short "wuliao" (erm, redundant? silly? I have no idea how to fully translate wuliao to English without changing the meaning slightly) posts like these, 'cause I haven't the time to be typing up long emo posts or looking up interesting things I can blog about or coming up with stories, while I'm stressing over assignments.

Let's just hope I don't get anymore stressed than this. I might possibly end up with no hair left.

Assignments make me thirsty.

And back I go to my assignments (we should really count how many times I've said 'assignments' since the beginning of last week's posts), and my constantly full bladder.

Pris: Yes, I have been trimming my own fringe since I came to Aus. That's why it always seems to be the same and never gets any longer, heehee.

Silver willows, Tears from Persia

You know you've spent too much time on assignments when you sub-consciously press ctrl-S after every sentence you type. Another one of my numerous OCD's. The habit arose once upon a time in a land far far away, when I did 90% of a 3000 word essay, and my computer crashed. My hours of labour poofed. Into nothingness. And I sat there. For 10 whole minutes. Staring at the screen. Thinking "maybe if I looked long enough, it'll come back". That was, of course, during the dinosaur ages when Microsoft Word didn't have the auto save feature.

Details of my day follow. I don't normally blog about "what I did today" or "what happened to me today", unless it's of any significance. But since I blogged about them coming in the previous post, I thought it only appropriate.

So my day out with grandpa Jin, and uncles Choi, and Hyun, is now over. Sounds so paedo. But it's only 'cause they're all like... 26 or 28 or some age between that range (which, technically, leaves only 27). I'd forgotten how much fun we used to have. *sighs*. Bring me back to never never land where all we did was work and play, with no studying and no assignments of any sort! Oh, and Hyun passed me my leftover mail from never never land... in the form of... mummy chicken's Christmas card! Thank you, mummy chicken. I super love it, and I super love you (even if I did receive it 4.5 months after Christmas)! =D

So what exactly did we do the whole of today? Nothing. What was I so worried about,.. not having places to bring them. Pfft. We had coffee/tea/hot choc for 2 hours. We went to the park and picnicked and did silly things for 3 hours. We went back and sat at the bus stop for 1 hour. Bus came. Several goodbyes later, I got on the bus. End of story. They had to cut their trip short 'cause it takes 4 hours of driving to get to where they're gonna be working at for the next few months. And so ends my day. With promises of driving to Gold Coast together one day. (Yes! I finally found people willing to drive there! Heehee)

In response to questions about why I haven't yet found a guy I liked (that way) and why I'm not accepting... erm... "people" (names not disclosed to protect privacy), Choi said, in his exact words, "Why you always look so high at guys. Don't look so high. Look lower. You can see many." I think he was trying to tell me to lower my expectations, and I'll find someone easily. But it sounded so wrong. Lol. I promise I won't laugh at their English anymore. Just this once. =D I don't mean it in a bad way, though.

Story of my day.

I'm trying very hard to finish my assignments. Can you tell?

Maybe we can do this for the rest of our lives, Maybe we can live forever

I just received a phonecall from Jin. Greetings and normal chat aside, he suddenly said, "Do you know where I am? I'm in Gatton, with Choi, and Hyun. We are going to Toowoomba to meet you tomorrow. Is that ok? (his version of this was, of course, less fluent... Koreans being Koreans, and their english... not that I'm being mean or stereotyping, but all the Koreans I know who grew up in Korea all speak the same way. Not their fault, though.) ".

Okay, first of all, they want to visit me tomorrow, and they tell me the NIGHT before they come. Second of all, he said it so matter-of-factly, like I'm just sitting here waiting for them to come. -.- I HAVE ASSIGNMENTS YOU KNOW. At least he asked whether it was okay. But then again, they've already decided they're coming. And this is the only time they have, 'cause they're starting work on another farm (yes, they're working on farms because that's the only job their second working holiday visa entitles them to do, HAHAHA, so mean =D) next week so it'll be quite a while before they have time to come visit me again.

So, me being me, said "yeah that's okay. Come!". All the while kicking myself in the rear end because my avalanching pile of assignments is starting to look really daunting. It's not that I don't want to see them, 'cause I do. I miss them a lot. I really do. But, talk about wonderful timing.

Fear of assignments aside, I'm actually really excited! It's not every day good friends actually take the time to come to Toowoomba just to visit me... three of them at that. =D

But........... where in Toowoomba can I possibly bring them??? I haven't actually been around that much, apart from going grocery-shopping and to people's houses. Not to mention, I don't even have a car. *Gak* I'm gonna be the most wonderfulest-est tour guide ever. *panics*

And the moral of the story is, For everyone there's a love that fits

"You know how, when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales? That fantasy of what your life would be; white dress, prince charming, who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes, and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming; they were so close you could taste them. But eventually you grow up. One day, you open your eyes, and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is, it's hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely 'cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope... of faith... that one day, they will open their eyes, and it will come true. - Meredith Grey"

Grey's Anatomy prologues are SO me. Haha.

So, how much have we actually grown? Would we really ever know? Probably not. I suppose there's still an inner child somewhere in all of us, and more prominent in some *ahem*, than in others. I like indulging in child-like innocent dreams every once in a while. Times when everything is simple and you're surrounded by pink fluffy clouds in the land of make believe. You can be anything you like, a princess, a dragon-slaying prince, a ninja, a superhero perhaps (HAHAHAHAHA, and just so you know, I don't actually really believe I have superpowers okay. I just like the idea of it =D).

And maybe, just maybe, the lines between reality and fairytale could cross ever so briefly.

I suppose it's much easier to believe that when you're young and ignorant. As you get older, you begin to realise that the world doesn't really work that way. That not every day is sunny and flowery. That not everyone's your friend, and especially not the animals. That you can't really sing and dance everywhere you go (Enchanted), even if you really want to. You begin to realise just how complicated the world and the human mind really is.

So what really keeps us going? That little bit of hope. That little bit of hope that we will someday find our way out of this tunnel. That one day, we will finally come to understand the workings of this world. That one day we will all get our happily-ever-after. At least, that's what I hope.

And for the time being, we can be contented with the present. With the little things we have right now. And the little people around us we can love and trust.

And because I feel like it, a little foot note on how my assignments are coming along. They are progressing. E.v.e.r.s.o.s.l.o.w.l.y. But progressing nonetheless.

We swam a sea of pretty sights and chandelier skies

The best dreams are the ones intertwined with sweet memories from before. Definitely sweeter than the chase dreams I used to have pretty frequently. But, haven't had them for a while now... since I posted about them here (thankfully!).

We were sitting in a coffee shop. All of us. The atmosphere was really serene. It felt so familiar. It felt like home. We were going around. Deciding what to order. And as I was coming back to sit down, having ordered char kueh tiaw... I woke up. *sighs* I was just about to taste that char kueh tiaw too!

But the pleasantness of the dream was not due to the char kueh tiaw I failed to taste, of course. It was because of the company of familiar "familial" people that I haven't had in a long time. The company of loved ones. The company of people I could always be myself with. Non-judgmental people who love me for me... who know me for me.

Insecurities, be gone!

"For just as stone by stone were laid,

With every hurt, and every pain,

So stone by stone the wall will break,

As love replaces every ache."

Such are the thoughts of a girl dying from overflowing mountains of cascading assignments. So why am I here still, fulfilling my mandatory emo post of the day/week (depending on how much emo inspiration I get over the week) ? Because assignments can just go to... that H place. Hehe.

Because these days aren't easy

Why

... do we feel the way we feel...

... do we dream the dreams we dream...

... do we do the things we do...

... do we think the way we think...

... is it so hard to understand people sometimes...

... does it sometimes seem like time whizzes pass as we stand idle...

... can't people ever be just contented and not want more?

I reckon humans, in general, are difficult to satisfy. Give them a town; they want the country. Give them the country; they want the world. Give them the world; they want the universe.

What matters most? "It's not the big things, but the little things, that can mean enough. - The Perfect Fan"

The pink elephants are trampling around in my head... oww

Maybe it can stop tomorrow, From stealing all my time

The interesting events which scared me to no end last night seem ridiculously funny now. It was quite the experience, and something I have no wish to go through again anytime soon. But thinking about it now, it really is somewhat comic, albeit scary (at that moment). Yet another to add to my never-ending list of "things I can laugh at myself about".

And what do I get when I talk about the amusing events of the night with my "best yumcha buddy" *puke*" (the only other person who shall know about this, apart from hiao miao, simply because he was online at a very convenient time, i.e. a time when I was still laughing at myself and felt like sharing my happiness with someone) ?

"You're a walking comedy okay, you can't help it. And I mean that in the best possible way. You know we love you and all the funny random things you do and say. The whole point of us always disturbing you is because you react in the funniest ways to things. I can imagine your face right this moment. Hahaha!"

Nice consolation, huh? -.- Maybe that's why I'm always so chipper and happy. A walking comedy, pfft! I should learn to be expressionless like mr. eng. Nyahahaha.

I had a chance encounter with a looney early this morning, too. I thought I was gonna die. 'Cause erm... that's what looneys do. Kill. I reckon. And 6am in the morning, when there's hardly anyone around, is hardly the time to be walking around meeting crazy people (Or he could've possibly just been drunk, I'm not sure). He was carrying an umbrella too. Could've killed me. But I very cleverly escaped death by hiding behind a stone wall (which also happens to be the big entrance to USQ) until the mumbling, umbrella-swinging guy had gone a fair distance away from me (He was on the opposite side of the road, by the way). Muahahaha, I marvel at my own genius.

And with this, I shall return to watching my pink elephants dancing circles around my head (because assignments tend to have that effect on me), having done my procrastinating task for the day.

My portion, deliverer, My shelter, strong tower

There really are angels here on Earth. In response to my frantic post about wanting to go to WYD '08 but worrying about money, someone (who requested not to be mentioned, because this someone is really that bighearted =) has very kindly offered to donate money to me so that I may go. At first I was deciding whether I should accept this generous offer or not. But you know what, if I was sent an angel, He meant for me to go. Thank you, my angel here on Earth (if you're even reading this)! You have no idea just how grateful I am right now. If only there was a way I could repay this person. *scratches head* Hmmm.

The other concern I had was about joining a group etc. But that problem is now also resolved thanks to Karen darling. And I actually also found several Toowoomba groups. But I guess I'm sticking to Karen darling's group, simply because she's Karen darling. Hehe.

So, there. I'm going to WYD '08. I can't believe it. I'm actually going! My once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. *grins like crazy* So as of now, my application form is processing. I love God, don't you?

The secret that I'm keeping, The moment that I'm reaching

Quick post (because I'm being very diligently distracted from my assignment).

In response to several queries as to who I was talking about in this post, I would like to make several things clear, without actually revealing who this person is. It is NOT someone in my family. Everyone in my family are lovely wonderful people, whom I will never ever talk about that way. It is NOT a close friend. Close friends are called close friends because they don't do silly, immature things like this.

It was merely an acquaintance who crosses paths with me every once in a while, which is all the more reason why she had no right to say what she said, 'cause she barely even knows me. But some people are happy that way. So be it. We still talk. We're still "friends". I'm not one to hold grudges. As long as she doesn't start making up stories again.

Now everyone, smile and hug each other, because that's what we do in my happy little world. teehee teehee.

Edit: Have I ever mentioned how much I hate assignments and exams? All this tedious work for what? For good grades. Good grades for what? For a degree and a good job. *grumble grumble*

Sob Stories

One sentence and one sentence only. Koreans are very good at falling-in-love-and-finding-out-one-of-them-has-a-fatal-sickness movies.

Their dramas, at least, have a variety of different themes (not that many either, but at least more variety than the sad depressing movies I've been watching). I mean, the whole "live every day as if it were your last. Enjoy while you're alive, so you won't regret in case something happens" theme is good. But the "I love you, but you're gonna die soon, and then I'm gonna be so heartbroken" theme? D.e.p.r.e.s.s.i.n.g.

The tears I've cried the past 2 days watching non-stop korean movies amount to the total volume of tears I've cried over the past 21 years. And yes, I do admit that I feel very easily when I watch movies (or watch other people, for that matter), and therefore, I also cry very easily when I watch movies. No one in high school or primary school has ever seen me cry (college, yes, because there was one person causing me massive amounts of pressure, so I was quite often on the verge during those few months, and I cry when I'm angry or in immense pain... but not quite when I'm sad. Me? Weird? Probably.) , and then one day, we were watching Lilo and Stitch, and all of a sudden, my reputation is gone. I shall not disclose who they were who were watching L and S with me. Oh well. Enough about my movie-time tears.

My friend once said to me, "All the good-looking Korean guys have become actors. That's why all the Koreans we meet are not good-looking." I reckon it's true. Why are the girls all so darn fair though?!

I need to start my assignments (see the 's'? Yes, more than one). Now.

So much for one sentence only, hehe

'Cause thinking of you makes me sad

I am sunburned and headache-ing. Not from going to the beach. Not from playing sports under the sun. But from waiting for the bus. -.- Now, I could have just stood up and found some shade until the bus came. But the old people next to me were having such an interesting conversation, I couldn't just leave. On my left, there was an old man and and old lady (who were the ones having the conversation... they didn't know each other by the way, just randomly started talking at the bus stop), and on my right, 2 cute old ladies sitting very quietly waiting for the bus. The old lady directly on my right kept looking over like she wanted to join the conversation, but didn't dare to. Old people are so cute!

The thing about this scenario is that, you would never EVER see this sort of situation in Kuching. The man was 80 (turning 81 in May, or so he said), and the lady was 71. And they were healthy. Extremely able. Out and about. Buying groceries... on their own. And they were talking about their kids and grandkids (who are MY age... plus minus a few years) and all that. Which was all perfectly normal.

And THEN, they started talking about their spouses who had passed away. And THAT was the part I almost ALmost sniffled and hugged them. The lady's husband passed away just last year. And the man's wife passed away 6 years earlier. Perfectly normal considering their age, I suppose. But the way they were talking made me feel such... sympathy?... for them. They were saying things like "Sure miss them, huh?" "It's hard to go on with life knowing they're not around anymore." "It's not easy to do the things we normally do without them around" "It's easier to go back to being single when you're young and in your 20's, but now when you're in your 70's." "I spent 47(for the man) / 51.5 (for the lady) years with that person, and suddenly he/she's not around anymore." You get the gist of it. It was so so sad. No one deserves to lose a loved one. Especially not one you've spent your whole life with.

But I guess, like what I said in this post, we learn to pick ourselves up every time we fall. In the same way, we learn to pick up our lives again after someone has left the world. And learn to work around the loneliness.

On to happier thoughts, this man and this lady here, are the most happening senior citizens (to flower up the term a bit) I have ever seen. At that age, they're going dancing and bowling and shopping. Like whoa, kickass grandparents. They keep themselves busy so as not to think about their lost loves (the lady had already lost 2 kids, and she herself was still alive and healthy O.O). I did say that Caucasians were more prone to cheat (I may just be stereotyping here, but it does seem like so), but you know, when they love, they really love. They really grow old together, and remain as loving as when their romance first started out. I mean, how many Asian grandparents do you see still walking around holding hands and whatnot?